What Happened on November 1, 2006

The day Elizabeth was born. I don't care what people say... I remember the pain!
Harry and I checked into the hospital at 7am for induction. Around 7:45am, a catheter with a foley attached was inserted to help me dialate (sorry for being so graphic). By 9:30 or so, the foley came out on its own; no need for the hours of slowly pulling it out. That made me happy.
A Pitocin drip was also started with the foley to help contractions along. They weren't too bad. My mom came to visit around 10:30 and stayed till about noon. She and Harry watched the monitor and told me when my contractions were coming; they both seemed to get a kick out of knowing before I did.
Around 1pm, my doctor broke my water. After that, the contractions were stronger. At 2:30 or so, I asked for my epidural. Getting that was the strangest sensation. It wasn't exactly painful; the surprise of it is what made it so bizarre and scary. It only took a few minutes, and I was comfortable almost immediately.
Around 5pm, the nurse said I was fully dialated, and I could begin pushing. After 50 minutes, she wasn't coming down any futher. So I stopped pushing and labored down for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, they'd turned my epidural way down, so I could really feel the contractions. Around 5 after 6pm, I started pushing again, and proceeded to keep pushing until 8pm. That's right; nearly 3 hours of pushing.
And she still wasn't coming out.
After 2 hours, I had no energy left. I wanted to stop and have a C-Section. The doctor wouldn't let me stop. I couldn't breathe; I had to have oxygen so I wouldn't pass out. The contractions were excruciating; it hurt more NOT to push. I begged and pleaded to stop, but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, after coming close to the 3 hour mark (I was told ahead of time that they don't let patients go over 2 hours anymore - liars), the doctor admitted that she'd hardly moved in that entire 3 hour period. He didn't know why I couldn't push her out (can you say guilt trip?), but there was no other choice than to do a C-Section.
They began preparing the OR and called in a second doctor to help with the surgery. My epidural was started again (although this time, it took forever for the pain to subside). Around 8:40pm, they wheeled me into the OR. Harry was there with me the whole time.
I felt the pressure of them cutting into me. It wasn't too bad. Then they started to pull her out. AND I COULD FEEL IT. I mean REALLY feel it. And then I heard her cry. They brought her over so we could see her. She was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Then I could feel them trying to close me up. The pain was intense. The Anesthesiologist realized right away the meds had worn off during the surgery and pumped me full of morphine right away. I passed out as they finished putting me back together again.
I woke up as they were finishing. They wheeled me back to my room, where I continued to receive morphine through the night. Man, that stuff is powerful.
They brought her to me around midnight so I could breastfeed. It was an amazing experience. I just got to look at her while she ate for half an hour or so. Here she was, a mini ME, in my arms. She was so aware, her eyes were so wide. It was incredible.
But yes, I DO remember the pain. And these passed few weeks have been the most difficult of my life. Sleep deprivation sucks. It sucks even more when you have a major infection because of a surgery, and they have you pumped full of drugs that make you sleepy and dizzy and give you stomach cramps and other such lovely side effects. And it sucks yet even more when they find out there are 3 different bacteria in that infection and they have to change your antibiotics and give you 2 different ones that completely obliterate you as a human being. All that while trying to be a mommy.
But it's all worth it. She's all worth it.
Would I have another one? Harry and I aren't too sure about that one. As much as I don't want to go through the pain again, Harry doesn't want to have to watch me go through it again. It was almost as difficult for him as it was for me. No, really.
In the end though, we have a beautiful daughter, and both Harry and I agree that we have this new connection with each other as well. That's all he kept telling people after I had the baby, that he felt so close to me, that we're on a whole new level. It's true. He was right there for me the whole way. He held his breath every time I had to hold mine in order to push. He kept eye contact with me during the pain. He held my hand when I needed it.
Right now, we're fried. Right now, we say one is enough. And there's nothing wrong with that. We tried so long for Elizabeth, and we've been blessed with a wonderful, healthy baby. That's good enough for me.