I have been to hell.

Otherwise known as Yale New Haven's Children's Hospital.
Elizabeth's stuffy nose and cough got worse. Did I mention the stuffy nose and cough mere days after the pink eye? Again, welcome to daycare.
So we bring her back to the doctor's office on Saturday. They take a listen to her lungs. All clear. Check her ears, her eyes, her throat. All clear. We breathe a sigh of relief.
6:30pm last night. Taking Elizabeth's temp once again. Shit. 100.8. Time to call the answering service. Dr. Sadinsky calls us back right away and tells us to take Ellie to Yale Children's Emergency Center for tests. We pack up and go.
They take her temp. 101.5. Shit, shit, shit. This is not happening. They give her some Tylenol to help it go down. And we wait. A nurse looks at her. A student doctor comes in and takes a look at her (Harry says the guy looks like he does when he's inspecting a car... "ok, it's making a noise there; I should check that" etc.). He tells us they need to take a urine sample, a blood sample, a nose swab, and a chest X-ray. Another doctor and one of the attendings come and take a peek at her. They tell us they'll start with the nose swab, urine sample and chest X-ray; no need to poke her if they can find the problem without it.
Unfortunately, they have to put a catheter in to take the urine. They use ultrasound to see if there's urine in the bladder before they put it in so it won't need to stay in, but then they wait too long to actually put the catheter in. She's peed in her diaper, so she has to keep the catheter in for a while. They do the nose swab, no problem. X-ray, a little scary on one so young, but it's a a necessary evil.
Student doc comes back and scares the hell out of us by telling us she has pnuemonia. Holy fuck. This isn't happening. How did this happen?
He says they need to take blood to find out if it is viral or bacterial. And they need to start an IV to give her antibiotics. You've got to be fucking kidding me.
They warn us they don't always get the needle in on the first try with babies. 8 sticks later and they at least have the blood. Her veins blow soon after they get the needle in. 8 fucking times. 4 different nurses. Another nurse comes in and points out that there is a vein they can use on her forehead. NO FUCKING WAY. I burst into tears and ask if there isn't some other way to give her the antibiotics.
They ask a doc and are given the OK to give her a shot of a 24 hour antibiotic. Yes, another needle. At least this one only takes 20 seconds and it's over.
We're brought up to her room at 1:30 am. She falls fast asleep. It's way passed her bedtime. I can't sleep. I keep glancing over at her to make sure she's OK.
We "get up" a little before 7 am. We feed her, and bless her, she still has a hearty appetite. Her pediatrician comes in around 8:30 to tell us it may NOT be pnuemonia. Most likely, she just has a cold. They're going to take one more chest X-ray. I think he's a little pissed with the ER docs. I think he thinks they may have unnecessarily scared us and given her medication she didn't need, not to mention all the needle torture. He calms me down almost immediately and tells us they don't need to keep us the 24 hours they said was absolutely necessary. In fact, we can probably leave after her next X-ray is looked at.
They come and get us for the X-ray at 9:18am. We don't get discharged until 1:30pm. We've been waiting for someone to take a damn look at the freakin' X-ray. The nurses keep calling down, but no one will give anyone a straight answer. Harry and I are frazzled, needless to say.
The nurse gives me discharge orders. And the orders are... go back to your normal routine. No extra meds, no extra precautions. Nothing.
What?
What about the X-ray? All clear.
All clear?
All clear.
What about the X-ray last night?
Well, that was read by someone who normally reads adult X-rays.
So she's OK? Nothing but a cold.
Yes, she's good to go home.
And all I can think is... "This is hell. Leaving my child's life in someone else's hands. This is what hell is like."
I prayed to God last night. My mother did, too. Us being home tonight instead of in that hospital should lead everyone to believe He exists.
My little girl's OK.
We're taking her out of daycare tomorrow and finding a licensed caregiver who works out of her home, like my friend, Kevin, suggested. That's what he does with his son. Our pediatrician gave us the name of a woman that works for his practice part-time that cares for children at her home. I talked to her this morning. I'm meeting with her tomorrow afternoon. I've already gotten a good vibe from her on the phone, so I'm keeping my fingers' crossed. Please do the same for me.

Naturally...

We get through our first week of daycare, and the baby comes home with pink eye. Poor thing. We have to give her eye drops 3-4 times a day. Luckily, her eyes don't seem to bother her. She'll be staying home tomorrow with Harry, and then she's back to daycare on Tuesday. Gotta get back on the horse, I guess. Everyone says daycare builds your child's immune system; they weren't kidding. I wonder how many other kids get sick their first week there. Just our family's dumb luck!

Daycare

Ellie started daycare yesterday. Can you say "Mommy is an emotional basket case?"
That was me yesterday. I cried when I had to leave her. I cried at work. I cried when I had to leave her again after visiting on my lunch break. I cried when Harry called me after he had picked her up for the day. I cried when I got home and vowed she would never return there again. I would quit my job and take care of her myself. We would be dirt poor, but at least I would be with her.
Then a couple hours later, some semblance of rational thought entered my brain, and I realized I really hadn't given it a fair chance. So before I did anything rash, I said I'd give it one more chance.
So today things were much better. I was much better. Ellie was much better. There were no tears on my part today, and hardly any on hers, as well. We both felt better about this whole daycare thing. So much so that we're ready to try it yet again tomorrow.
8:07 PM - 1 Comments