My grandmother passed away on Friday. She had been suffering from dementia for the past few years, so I haven't seen her in awhile. I'd send her cards and pictures even though she didn't know who they were from, and my aunt told me she'd hang them up anyway because it meant that at leas somebody cared.
I wasn't very close with her. She lived down in Maryland, and we only saw her a few times a year when I as younger. We'd visit for a few days around Thanksgiving, we'd see her as she traveled up to Maine and back down again to Maryland during the summer, and we'd go up to Maine to stay with her for a week for our Summer vacation. Once my parents got divorced, we stopped visiting. I guess my mom just couldn't take the visits on her own.
Growing up, I knew very little about my grandmother. I knew:
1. She was very cruel to my mother while growing up
2. Her husband died before I was born
3. She didn't like children
4. She lived with her dog and 2 cats
5. She collected baseball cards
I remember going to visit in November and watching the Macy's parade on her black and white TV. I remember the picture hanging above that TV:
I remember thinking how beautiful, how glamorous, how sophisticated, how RICH my grandparents looked in the picture. And I wondered why we WEREN'T rich. I mean, look at them! They look like movie stars.
My mom told me about having to watch her 2 younger brothers and younger sister every single day and feeding them ketchup and onion sandwiches or spam because there was nothing else to eat in the house while my grandparents went out to have steak dinners and rub elbows with the D.C. elite.
And later on, as I got older, my mother grudgingly told me about some pretty horrible things her mother did to her when she was younger, one of them being she stabbed my mother in the leg. Even as a teenager, I had enough sense to wonder why in the world this woman had children. It boggles the mind.
My mother moved out the day she turned 18, and she never looked back. Can't say as I blame her.
I know you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but this is all I know about the woman. I never once saw her do a nice thing for anyone. That's the plain truth.
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I'm all disconnected and, well, I'm angry. I'm not sure if it's directly related to her death or if it's something else. Whatever it is, I have 3 days to get myself back together. I hate feeling like this, and I don't want to return to work an angerball. I don't want to be an angerball around Harry and Ellie, either. It sucks to feel so irritated and stressed when all I want to do is give love and affection to my two favorite people.
I need to get out of this funk. Blah.
I wasn't very close with her. She lived down in Maryland, and we only saw her a few times a year when I as younger. We'd visit for a few days around Thanksgiving, we'd see her as she traveled up to Maine and back down again to Maryland during the summer, and we'd go up to Maine to stay with her for a week for our Summer vacation. Once my parents got divorced, we stopped visiting. I guess my mom just couldn't take the visits on her own.
Growing up, I knew very little about my grandmother. I knew:
1. She was very cruel to my mother while growing up
2. Her husband died before I was born
3. She didn't like children
4. She lived with her dog and 2 cats
5. She collected baseball cards
I remember going to visit in November and watching the Macy's parade on her black and white TV. I remember the picture hanging above that TV:
I remember thinking how beautiful, how glamorous, how sophisticated, how RICH my grandparents looked in the picture. And I wondered why we WEREN'T rich. I mean, look at them! They look like movie stars.
My mom told me about having to watch her 2 younger brothers and younger sister every single day and feeding them ketchup and onion sandwiches or spam because there was nothing else to eat in the house while my grandparents went out to have steak dinners and rub elbows with the D.C. elite.
And later on, as I got older, my mother grudgingly told me about some pretty horrible things her mother did to her when she was younger, one of them being she stabbed my mother in the leg. Even as a teenager, I had enough sense to wonder why in the world this woman had children. It boggles the mind.
My mother moved out the day she turned 18, and she never looked back. Can't say as I blame her.
I know you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but this is all I know about the woman. I never once saw her do a nice thing for anyone. That's the plain truth.
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I'm all disconnected and, well, I'm angry. I'm not sure if it's directly related to her death or if it's something else. Whatever it is, I have 3 days to get myself back together. I hate feeling like this, and I don't want to return to work an angerball. I don't want to be an angerball around Harry and Ellie, either. It sucks to feel so irritated and stressed when all I want to do is give love and affection to my two favorite people.
I need to get out of this funk. Blah.
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