Monday, September 28, 2009

Step one of eleventy-billion-and-one

Writing my last post did me a lot of good. Reading all the lovely comments everyone left did me a whole lotta more good. We'll call that opening the flood gates.

This weekend really started my journey to the new-and-improved me. First on the agenda was to clean out my closet. And I mean that in the literal sense. I went through my closet and my armoire and got rid of every stitch of clothing that no longer fits. To my surprise, quite a few pieces I was banking on to use the next few months (like fleeces and sweaters) were too big when I tried them on. The last time I wore them, they *just* fit. And now I can possibly fit another person in there. That was eye-opening.

I first thought that maybe I could still use them, but I realized quickly that they made me look frumpy and unattractive. Yeah, no thanks. I can do without that.

In the end, I only have about 20 pieces that fit right now. And I'm OK with that. Mostly because I only plan on fitting in these for a little while longer and then moving onto the next size down. That's the plan, and I'm sticking to it.

It took me a couple of hours while Ellie was napping, but it was well worth using my normal down-time to get the job done. I felt lighter after I threw that last piece of clothing into the bag for Goodwill. Lighter in both mind and body. Very Zen of me, I know.

But real nonetheless. I feel different now. All those clothes (and MY GOD there was a lot) were holding me down, the unnecessary baggage of a person who has been trying to break out of herself and the definitions of her for a very long time.

I'm redefining every day.

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