The day Elizabeth was born. I don't care what people say... I remember the pain!
Harry and I checked into the hospital at 7am for induction. Around 7:45am, a catheter with a foley attached was inserted to help me dialate (sorry for being so graphic). By 9:30 or so, the foley came out on its own; no need for the hours of slowly pulling it out. That made me happy.
A Pitocin drip was also started with the foley to help contractions along. They weren't too bad. My mom came to visit around 10:30 and stayed till about noon. She and Harry watched the monitor and told me when my contractions were coming; they both seemed to get a kick out of knowing before I did.
Around 1pm, my doctor broke my water. After that, the contractions were stronger. At 2:30 or so, I asked for my epidural. Getting that was the strangest sensation. It wasn't exactly painful; the surprise of it is what made it so bizarre and scary. It only took a few minutes, and I was comfortable almost immediately.
Around 5pm, the nurse said I was fully dialated, and I could begin pushing. After 50 minutes, she wasn't coming down any futher. So I stopped pushing and labored down for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, they'd turned my epidural way down, so I could really feel the contractions. Around 5 after 6pm, I started pushing again, and proceeded to keep pushing until 8pm. That's right; nearly 3 hours of pushing.
And she still wasn't coming out.
After 2 hours, I had no energy left. I wanted to stop and have a C-Section. The doctor wouldn't let me stop. I couldn't breathe; I had to have oxygen so I wouldn't pass out. The contractions were excruciating; it hurt more NOT to push. I begged and pleaded to stop, but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, after coming close to the 3 hour mark (I was told ahead of time that they don't let patients go over 2 hours anymore - liars), the doctor admitted that she'd hardly moved in that entire 3 hour period. He didn't know why I couldn't push her out (can you say guilt trip?), but there was no other choice than to do a C-Section.
They began preparing the OR and called in a second doctor to help with the surgery. My epidural was started again (although this time, it took forever for the pain to subside). Around 8:40pm, they wheeled me into the OR. Harry was there with me the whole time.
I felt the pressure of them cutting into me. It wasn't too bad. Then they started to pull her out. AND I COULD FEEL IT. I mean REALLY feel it. And then I heard her cry. They brought her over so we could see her. She was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Then I could feel them trying to close me up. The pain was intense. The Anesthesiologist realized right away the meds had worn off during the surgery and pumped me full of morphine right away. I passed out as they finished putting me back together again.
I woke up as they were finishing. They wheeled me back to my room, where I continued to receive morphine through the night. Man, that stuff is powerful.
They brought her to me around midnight so I could breastfeed. It was an amazing experience. I just got to look at her while she ate for half an hour or so. Here she was, a mini ME, in my arms. She was so aware, her eyes were so wide. It was incredible.
But yes, I DO remember the pain. And these passed few weeks have been the most difficult of my life. Sleep deprivation sucks. It sucks even more when you have a major infection because of a surgery, and they have you pumped full of drugs that make you sleepy and dizzy and give you stomach cramps and other such lovely side effects. And it sucks yet even more when they find out there are 3 different bacteria in that infection and they have to change your antibiotics and give you 2 different ones that completely obliterate you as a human being. All that while trying to be a mommy.
But it's all worth it. She's all worth it.
Would I have another one? Harry and I aren't too sure about that one. As much as I don't want to go through the pain again, Harry doesn't want to have to watch me go through it again. It was almost as difficult for him as it was for me. No, really.
In the end though, we have a beautiful daughter, and both Harry and I agree that we have this new connection with each other as well. That's all he kept telling people after I had the baby, that he felt so close to me, that we're on a whole new level. It's true. He was right there for me the whole way. He held his breath every time I had to hold mine in order to push. He kept eye contact with me during the pain. He held my hand when I needed it.
Right now, we're fried. Right now, we say one is enough. And there's nothing wrong with that. We tried so long for Elizabeth, and we've been blessed with a wonderful, healthy baby. That's good enough for me.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
She's gotten a little TOO comfortable.
Yep, still pregnant. She was due 6 days ago, but she's decided she really likes it in there. She's made herself right at home. I guess the pregnancy was a little too perfect; now she doesn't want to leave!
I'm going to the doctor's office today for an ultrasound. They need to check how she's holding up in there. If they see something they don't like (such as low amniotic fluid, irratic heart rate, slow fetal movements, etc), I'll mosey on over across the street to the hospital where they'll induce my labor. So I could have her today!
If everything looks good, they're still going to induce labor, but they'll start it slowly on Tuesday evening. I'll check in, and they'll start dialation without the use of any kind of medicine. Then, Wednesday morning, they'll start me on Pitocin, which will help with starting some serious contractions. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she'll be here by Wednesday night the latest.
Halloween would still be a pretty cool birth date. Maybe she'll still decide to come on her own. Wish me luck. I'll update once she's here.
I'm going to the doctor's office today for an ultrasound. They need to check how she's holding up in there. If they see something they don't like (such as low amniotic fluid, irratic heart rate, slow fetal movements, etc), I'll mosey on over across the street to the hospital where they'll induce my labor. So I could have her today!
If everything looks good, they're still going to induce labor, but they'll start it slowly on Tuesday evening. I'll check in, and they'll start dialation without the use of any kind of medicine. Then, Wednesday morning, they'll start me on Pitocin, which will help with starting some serious contractions. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she'll be here by Wednesday night the latest.
Halloween would still be a pretty cool birth date. Maybe she'll still decide to come on her own. Wish me luck. I'll update once she's here.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
I never win anything...
until today, that is. A couple of weeks ago, I entered a contest through Stephen King's official site to win an advanced reader's copy of his new book, Lisey's Story, from Simon and Schuster. I got an email today telling me that I won! They're sending the book to me this week. Isn't that cool?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
2 weeks and counting...
I'm due in 2 weeks. Just 2! She could actually decide to make an appearance today for all I know. It's both exciting and frustrating. Will I miss being pregnant? Sure. I feel so very close to my little sweetpea. These passed 9 months have been like nothing I've ever experienced before. Will I be happy to get my body back? Bet your ass I will. I would very much like to see my toes again.
My doctor and I decided that today will be my last day at work before Elizabeth arrives. It's just getting a little too difficult to sit up in a computer chair all day. It's hard to breath, and it causes the baby to jam her poor, little feet into my poor, little ribs.
I've been having false labor for the passed few days, which is very nerve-racking. Just when I think it might be the real deal, the contractions go away. It's a bummer. They don't really hurt, so that's a sure sign that they're not real. Yet, they do have a pattern to them; they were coming every 10 minutes or so for 2 hours straight. Then I started to walk around, waiting for the next one to come, and it never showed up. Sadness.
This coming weekend would be a nice time for her to show up, apart from the damn Devon Bridge being closed yet again. That was the route we were preparing to take to the hospital, and now we would have to change that if it happens this weekend. It's not a huge deal; I just didn't want Harry to have to get on the highway. He's gonna be a nervous wreck, and I'd rather we not have to travel above 55 mph with him in that state. Maybe I should drive! That could be interesting.
My doctor and I decided that today will be my last day at work before Elizabeth arrives. It's just getting a little too difficult to sit up in a computer chair all day. It's hard to breath, and it causes the baby to jam her poor, little feet into my poor, little ribs.
I've been having false labor for the passed few days, which is very nerve-racking. Just when I think it might be the real deal, the contractions go away. It's a bummer. They don't really hurt, so that's a sure sign that they're not real. Yet, they do have a pattern to them; they were coming every 10 minutes or so for 2 hours straight. Then I started to walk around, waiting for the next one to come, and it never showed up. Sadness.
This coming weekend would be a nice time for her to show up, apart from the damn Devon Bridge being closed yet again. That was the route we were preparing to take to the hospital, and now we would have to change that if it happens this weekend. It's not a huge deal; I just didn't want Harry to have to get on the highway. He's gonna be a nervous wreck, and I'd rather we not have to travel above 55 mph with him in that state. Maybe I should drive! That could be interesting.
Monday, September 25, 2006
4 weeks and counting...
It's been months since I've posted! Life has been very full and absolutely wonderful. The baby could be here any day now. Harry and I managed to pay off one of our cars. I'm still working. My sister-in-law got married a couple of weeks ago. The nursery is completely done and ready to roll. Luna is now very comfortable with us and even chills out on the sofa and watches TV with us. My youngest niece started the 5th grade, and my oldest is a senior in high school. I've gained 23 lbs. and my fingers are swollen. I'm sick of stretchy pants and would love to put on a pair of jeans again. I miss shopping. Harry installed a new stove this weekend. Our car insurance is paid until March. I'm going to be 30 in about 7 months. The Simpsons are on right now.
And all is right in the world.
And all is right in the world.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Movie of My Life
Another good idea from Steve! Harry and I have been racking our brains on this one, mostly who would play us.
Once upon a time, I would have said Janeane Garofalo would be the perfect pick for me. Now she's gone all blonde and become a gym fanatic.
So not me.
My other choices now that I'm a little older would be Ashley Judd, Diane Lane, or Lauren Graham because I think they could pull off my personality.
Harry immediately said Jim Belushi for himself just because he's a big fan, but I was thinking Scott Patterson from Gilmore Girls, mostly because he's got that 80s thing going.
As for the plot, it would have to have a little background about our childhoods because both of us have been greatly influenced by what went on in our earlier years. It would also have to have us as teenagers just to see how screwed up the both of us were in vastly different ways. Our early 20s would also need to be delved into because both of us did some things we now look back on and hang our heads in shame. There would have to be a segment devoted to our first "date", complete with us getting drunk, singing karaoke, and falling into bed later that evening. How very romantic. The rest would bring us through our relationship, starting with our bedroom escapades on the weekends, and our budding friendship on the weekdays. It would progress through both of us losing our jobs within 2 months of each other, moving in together, getting engaged, selling a house while planning a wedding (I highly suggest NOT doing this), trying to conceive a child, and finally resigning ourselves to the fact that we weren't going to be able to have children. Then, of course, we immediately fall pregnant after this realization.
It would be heartbreaking, heartwarming, and funny as hell.
Once upon a time, I would have said Janeane Garofalo would be the perfect pick for me. Now she's gone all blonde and become a gym fanatic.
So not me.
My other choices now that I'm a little older would be Ashley Judd, Diane Lane, or Lauren Graham because I think they could pull off my personality.
Harry immediately said Jim Belushi for himself just because he's a big fan, but I was thinking Scott Patterson from Gilmore Girls, mostly because he's got that 80s thing going.
As for the plot, it would have to have a little background about our childhoods because both of us have been greatly influenced by what went on in our earlier years. It would also have to have us as teenagers just to see how screwed up the both of us were in vastly different ways. Our early 20s would also need to be delved into because both of us did some things we now look back on and hang our heads in shame. There would have to be a segment devoted to our first "date", complete with us getting drunk, singing karaoke, and falling into bed later that evening. How very romantic. The rest would bring us through our relationship, starting with our bedroom escapades on the weekends, and our budding friendship on the weekdays. It would progress through both of us losing our jobs within 2 months of each other, moving in together, getting engaged, selling a house while planning a wedding (I highly suggest NOT doing this), trying to conceive a child, and finally resigning ourselves to the fact that we weren't going to be able to have children. Then, of course, we immediately fall pregnant after this realization.
It would be heartbreaking, heartwarming, and funny as hell.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I'll Miss You
I just found out an old blog friend passed away this weekend. It just feels so surreal. The last time we corresponded was in April. We used to swap music on occasion, and he had shot me a little note letting me know that he had put some new albums in his Yahoo briefcase for me to listen to.
I just can't believe he's gone.
Hey thanks, C****. You're always so thoughtful.
In new news, I'm gonna be a mommy! Harry and I found out last month,
and we couldn't be happier. Or more scared. Tell me parenthood is all
it's cracked up to be and then some.
Anyway, just wanted to share the news. Thanks again.
Alicia
Response: Congratulations! So cool. You two will be great parents.
And parenthood is wonderful. Don't let anyone tell you different.
C****
I just can't believe he's gone.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Elizabeth is rockin' and rollin'
My baby's got spunk. My baby's gonna play soccer. She's got her groove on. ALL DAY. Does she ever sleep?
It started 5 months to the day, and it hasn't stopped since. She should be in S.T.O.M.P.
And the craziest part... I love it. I love to feel her move, to know she's having a good time in there. She's gonna be a party girl.
It started 5 months to the day, and it hasn't stopped since. She should be in S.T.O.M.P.
And the craziest part... I love it. I love to feel her move, to know she's having a good time in there. She's gonna be a party girl.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Meme!
- - - - - - - - - Your Life: The Soundtrack - - - - - - - -
So, here's how it works:
1) Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2) Put it on shuffle.
3) Press play.
4) For every question type the song that's on.
5) When you go to a new question press the next button.Ready? GO!- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Opening Credits:
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Very Cool.
Waking Up:
The Beekeeper - Tori AmosVery Soothing.
I could definitely wake up to that.
Falling in Love:
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
Hahahahahaha. That's too funny.
Fight scene:
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley
It would be a slow motion fight, complete with a little time out to smoke up.
Breaking Up:
Letter Bomb - Green Day
Snicker, snicker.
Getting back together:
World - The Bee Gees
Should I be embarassed that I have a Bee Gees album?
Secret Love:
Aloha Hawaii - Instrumental
There's no secret about my love of the islands.
Mental breakdown:
The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
Uh, yep.
Driving:
Anarchy - Utah Phillips and Ani Difranco
Surprisingly groovy and laid back.
Flashback:
Hallelujah - Kristie
This is a friend's rendition. Is this a flashback to CCD classes?
Happy dance:
Angeles - Elliott Smith
Well, it's not very happy, is it?
Regretting:
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence
"I come from self-indulgence." Very fitting.
Long night alone:
Faith in this Colour (alternate version) - Duran Duran
Eating a gallon of ice cream and watching John Hughes flicks.
Death scene:
Wheels - Cake
Oh so mellow and quirky. I dig it.
Ending credits:
Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Awwwww. Nice.
So, here's how it works:
1) Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2) Put it on shuffle.
3) Press play.
4) For every question type the song that's on.
5) When you go to a new question press the next button.Ready? GO!- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Opening Credits:
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Very Cool.
Waking Up:
The Beekeeper - Tori AmosVery Soothing.
I could definitely wake up to that.
Falling in Love:
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
Hahahahahaha. That's too funny.
Fight scene:
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley
It would be a slow motion fight, complete with a little time out to smoke up.
Breaking Up:
Letter Bomb - Green Day
Snicker, snicker.
Getting back together:
World - The Bee Gees
Should I be embarassed that I have a Bee Gees album?
Secret Love:
Aloha Hawaii - Instrumental
There's no secret about my love of the islands.
Mental breakdown:
The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
Uh, yep.
Driving:
Anarchy - Utah Phillips and Ani Difranco
Surprisingly groovy and laid back.
Flashback:
Hallelujah - Kristie
This is a friend's rendition. Is this a flashback to CCD classes?
Happy dance:
Angeles - Elliott Smith
Well, it's not very happy, is it?
Regretting:
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence
"I come from self-indulgence." Very fitting.
Long night alone:
Faith in this Colour (alternate version) - Duran Duran
Eating a gallon of ice cream and watching John Hughes flicks.
Death scene:
Wheels - Cake
Oh so mellow and quirky. I dig it.
Ending credits:
Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Awwwww. Nice.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Would you like to take a survey?
1. Of all the bands & artists in your collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Ani Difranco, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Tori Amos, Ben Folds, Dave Matthews Band, Pink Floyd, Beth Orton, NIN, Barenaked Ladies, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, Pixies, Sarah McLachlan, and The Beatles.
2.What was the last song you listened to?
Black Paintings by Peter Gabriel
3. What's in your stereo right now?
Something classical - violin
4. What are your favourite instruments?
guitar and violin
5. What's your favourite local band?
I don't listen to local bands much... Echoing August was pretty good when I went to listen to Morello sing at the Pocket.
6. What was the last show you attended?
Last local show was Morello's; Last major venue was Guster, Ben Folds, and Rufus Wainwright. I'd love to see that show again.
7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
I think it was the Sarah McLachlan show I took my niece to in Providence. Oh wait, I think THAT was the last show I went to.
8. What's the worst band you've ever seen in concert?
I've luckily never been to a show that I really hated.
9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I loved Skid Row, but Sebastian Bach is a tool sometimes. Lars Ulrich from Metallica has gotten under my skin the past few years, as well.
10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
I was in the band in Junior High, and I also did High School Musicals. And then there was the odd night out at a karaoke bar. Sad.
11. What show are you looking forward to?
I wouldn't mind seeing the Fiona Apple show coming up. Locally, I'd love to see The Machine, a Pink Floyd tribute band. I heard the show is fantastic.
12. What is your favourite band shirt?
My Ani DiFranco "Here comes little naked me" tee that I got at a concert many moons ago.
13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Definitely Ani D.
14. What musician would you like to be in love with you for a day?
Haaaahahaah. Ummmm... Ben Folds? Then he could write a killer song about me and how I fucked up his life or something.
15. What was your last musical "phase" before you wizened up?
I was really into musicals near the end of high school. I don't really listen to them anymore.
16. Sabbath or Solo Ozzy?
Hmmmm... that's a tough one. I'm gonna go with Harry on this one and say Ozzy.
17. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
Yep
18. What was the greatest decade for music?
mid '60s to mid '70s. Hey, that's 10 years.
19. What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
The Crow
20. What would you be without music?
I can't even fathom that. I'd be lost. I'd have no muse.
1. Of all the bands & artists in your collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Ani Difranco, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, Tori Amos, Ben Folds, Dave Matthews Band, Pink Floyd, Beth Orton, NIN, Barenaked Ladies, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, Pixies, Sarah McLachlan, and The Beatles.
2.What was the last song you listened to?
Black Paintings by Peter Gabriel
3. What's in your stereo right now?
Something classical - violin
4. What are your favourite instruments?
guitar and violin
5. What's your favourite local band?
I don't listen to local bands much... Echoing August was pretty good when I went to listen to Morello sing at the Pocket.
6. What was the last show you attended?
Last local show was Morello's; Last major venue was Guster, Ben Folds, and Rufus Wainwright. I'd love to see that show again.
7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
I think it was the Sarah McLachlan show I took my niece to in Providence. Oh wait, I think THAT was the last show I went to.
8. What's the worst band you've ever seen in concert?
I've luckily never been to a show that I really hated.
9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I loved Skid Row, but Sebastian Bach is a tool sometimes. Lars Ulrich from Metallica has gotten under my skin the past few years, as well.
10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
I was in the band in Junior High, and I also did High School Musicals. And then there was the odd night out at a karaoke bar. Sad.
11. What show are you looking forward to?
I wouldn't mind seeing the Fiona Apple show coming up. Locally, I'd love to see The Machine, a Pink Floyd tribute band. I heard the show is fantastic.
12. What is your favourite band shirt?
My Ani DiFranco "Here comes little naked me" tee that I got at a concert many moons ago.
13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Definitely Ani D.
14. What musician would you like to be in love with you for a day?
Haaaahahaah. Ummmm... Ben Folds? Then he could write a killer song about me and how I fucked up his life or something.
15. What was your last musical "phase" before you wizened up?
I was really into musicals near the end of high school. I don't really listen to them anymore.
16. Sabbath or Solo Ozzy?
Hmmmm... that's a tough one. I'm gonna go with Harry on this one and say Ozzy.
17. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
Yep
18. What was the greatest decade for music?
mid '60s to mid '70s. Hey, that's 10 years.
19. What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
The Crow
20. What would you be without music?
I can't even fathom that. I'd be lost. I'd have no muse.
Monday, June 5, 2006
I know you've been waiting for it...
It's a girl! A HEALTHY baby girl!
Her body weight is right on target, her heart rate is normal, her placenta's in a good position, she's got two arms, two legs, a head, etc. I know that may sound strange, but did you see that baby born with 3 arms? Poor thing.
We're all very happy (although Harry did say that he's goin' out to get a shotgun, and she's not allowed to date until she's 35).
Oh, and a name. Elizabeth Jane. Awwwwww.
Her body weight is right on target, her heart rate is normal, her placenta's in a good position, she's got two arms, two legs, a head, etc. I know that may sound strange, but did you see that baby born with 3 arms? Poor thing.
We're all very happy (although Harry did say that he's goin' out to get a shotgun, and she's not allowed to date until she's 35).
Oh, and a name. Elizabeth Jane. Awwwwww.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
One of my all-time fave movies... remade.
We went and saw Poseidon last night. Not too shabby. Josh Lucas was awesome; can't wait to see him as Angel in X-Men. The characters were changed around a bit, and I actually liked that.
They had tried to make a made-for-TV version last year with Rutger Hauer playing the Rev, but I turned it off 10 minutes in. I mean, it had Steve Guttenberg in it. Don't get me wrong, I was a big Guttenberg fan in the 80s, but he's just not up-to-par in this new century, ya know?
We'll also be going to see The DaVinci Code this weekend, as well as An American Haunting next week, and, of course, X-Men III. We're still contemplating The Omen next month, and I'm having serious doubts about Superman now. We saw a preview last night, and Lois has a kid. Where the hell did that come from? I'll probably go see it anyway and then bitch about what crap it was after.
They had tried to make a made-for-TV version last year with Rutger Hauer playing the Rev, but I turned it off 10 minutes in. I mean, it had Steve Guttenberg in it. Don't get me wrong, I was a big Guttenberg fan in the 80s, but he's just not up-to-par in this new century, ya know?
We'll also be going to see The DaVinci Code this weekend, as well as An American Haunting next week, and, of course, X-Men III. We're still contemplating The Omen next month, and I'm having serious doubts about Superman now. We saw a preview last night, and Lois has a kid. Where the hell did that come from? I'll probably go see it anyway and then bitch about what crap it was after.
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
Baby Update
We got to hear the baby's heartbeat again during our doctor's visit yesterday. A steady 144, which is average. We also found out that they've been using the wrong cuff on my arm to take my blood pressure, making the results come out much higher than they actually are. My blood pressure is not borderline high; it's actually in the low normal range. Go figure.
The next visit is gonna be the big one... the ultrasound. If baby cooperates, we may get to find out the sex on this visit. So come back in 5 weeks if you want to know.
The next visit is gonna be the big one... the ultrasound. If baby cooperates, we may get to find out the sex on this visit. So come back in 5 weeks if you want to know.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
When I grow up...
I wanted to be a teacher. I knew that by age 5. All through elementary school I hoped that I would one day have a similar impact on my students as my teachers had on me. No really--I honestly thought that at age 10. I was very mature for a preadolescent. I thought I was anyway.
As I ended junior high, I was veering away from teaching and seriously thinking about becoming an architect. My drafting teacher told me I had a knack for it, and I should consider it as a career. Well, no one had ever encouraged me to that extent before. So freshman year of high school, I started with an art class, thinking about taking more drafting courses when my schedule opened up a bit.
By sophomore year, I gave up on architecture because Clune made me absolutely hate drawing. How sad is that? A teacher made me hate to be creative.
So I went back to the teaching thing, even when I took one of those tests that tell you what field you'd be good in. I was a shoe-in to be an accountant, but how lame and boring is that? I wasn't going to be any crappy accountant!
So I started college, not at the university of my choice (which was Northwestern; I ended up sticking around CT because both of my parents were having health problems). I was taking courses towards a BS in English with certification in Secondary Education.
I went to college part time for the next 6 years or so, only managing to rack up 57 credits. And I also decided that I didn't want to be a teacher. After talking with a friend's father, who was a history teacher at a middle school, I realized that kids today are way too fucked up for me to deal with.
I should have been an accountant. Do you have any idea how much CPAs make?
As I ended junior high, I was veering away from teaching and seriously thinking about becoming an architect. My drafting teacher told me I had a knack for it, and I should consider it as a career. Well, no one had ever encouraged me to that extent before. So freshman year of high school, I started with an art class, thinking about taking more drafting courses when my schedule opened up a bit.
By sophomore year, I gave up on architecture because Clune made me absolutely hate drawing. How sad is that? A teacher made me hate to be creative.
So I went back to the teaching thing, even when I took one of those tests that tell you what field you'd be good in. I was a shoe-in to be an accountant, but how lame and boring is that? I wasn't going to be any crappy accountant!
So I started college, not at the university of my choice (which was Northwestern; I ended up sticking around CT because both of my parents were having health problems). I was taking courses towards a BS in English with certification in Secondary Education.
I went to college part time for the next 6 years or so, only managing to rack up 57 credits. And I also decided that I didn't want to be a teacher. After talking with a friend's father, who was a history teacher at a middle school, I realized that kids today are way too fucked up for me to deal with.
I should have been an accountant. Do you have any idea how much CPAs make?
Monday, April 17, 2006
This is me in grade 9, baby.
I've seen a few messages on my high school message board, people complaining about how awful their 4 years there were. High school was a difficult time for the majority of us, I understand that; I had a lot of shit go down between the ages of 14 and 18 myself. But all in all, my experience was a good one, mostly because I had some really good friends. And I'd like to think that most people did have at least one person they counted lucky to have met during their formative years.
I dealt with my parents divorce, losing my best friend, an unrequited love, and my only extra-curricular activity being shut down. There was also the depression I had been fighting since the age of 12. All that crap sucked big time, but I still managed to have fun.
I was in a few of the "smart" classes, and therefore, I had a label. I was not a "cool kid" or "popular". Most of us in those classes werent. And most of us didn't care. We went to school to learn, to interact with other people, and to hope to one day get into a good college. And we definitely had some good times along the way. I still get to talk to a few of my fellow classmates, and everyone seems to be doing rather well. High school didn't break us.
I became involved with theatre my sophomore year, and I really enjoyed it. Bunnell Theatre Company was unlike any other organization I had ever seen. I was sucked into its vortex at a time when I was most impressionable, and, although I was crushed when the school decided to disband it, I'm happy about it now. I couldn't see it, but, in hindsight, I was brainwashed to a degree. That scares the hell out of me now. There's no telling what I would have done if we had been allowed to continue. I almost lost a good friend because of BTC he had tried to warn me that the group was changing me, but I didn't want to hear it. The school actually did me a favor.
My senior year, I got involved with the school literary magazine, being co-editor of a side-mag we had decided to put out that year. There were definitely some strange people in that group, but they were cool, too, in my book anyway. We all got along well, even while being extremely competitive with one another because we all thought our writing was the best (which cracks me up now because my writing sucked ass) and should go on page one.
I got involved with the Student Theatre Arts Guild of Entertainment that year, as well. To this day, the members of S.T.A.G.E. are by far some of the coolest people I have ever had the privilege to know. We spent every single day together that year. And although there were a few members who didn't hang out with us on a regular basis, we all got along rather well for such a large group. I DO wish more people had come along for our nightly ritual at D&D after play practice because I hate to think we alienated anyone. Everyone rocked (well, except for that Carrie girl that used to follow my boyfriend around - she was a pain in the arse).
This is what I remember most about high school. All of us hanging out, having some coffee and a few cigs, waxing philosophic on the godliness of Eddie Vedder and whether Jesus really wore biker shorts under his toga and Tevas were his sandal of choice (you had to be there).
My younger sister still makes fun of all of us "theatre freaks" to this day, simply because we werent cool enough for her and her motley band of troublemakers. My oldest niece has followed in my footsteps and has joined the theatre group as well, not to mention the marching band, and my sister makes fun of her for it, too. What my sister doesnt get is that groups like that make a lasting impression on a person, and you really find some of the nicest and most creative people within their boundaries. And you usually make some life-long friends, as well.
My husband doesn't get it, either. He still has a few friends from high school, but he gets pissy because its hard to make plans with them. And they don't try to make as much of an effort as he does to stay in touch. I've tried to explain to him that he made most of those friends while they were stinking drunk and stoned off their asses, and now that he doesn't do any of that anymore, they don't really want anything to do with him. He's grown up. He has a wife, a baby on the way, a house, a new car, property taxes and health insurance to pay, not to mention a job he works at 50+ hours a week. And they still party. That's all they do.
He wonders how I stay in touch with people from all those years ago, whether it's going out for a coffee or writing an email occasionally. And I tell him it's simply because we grew up, REALLY grew up together. These people are like home to me.
I dealt with my parents divorce, losing my best friend, an unrequited love, and my only extra-curricular activity being shut down. There was also the depression I had been fighting since the age of 12. All that crap sucked big time, but I still managed to have fun.
I was in a few of the "smart" classes, and therefore, I had a label. I was not a "cool kid" or "popular". Most of us in those classes werent. And most of us didn't care. We went to school to learn, to interact with other people, and to hope to one day get into a good college. And we definitely had some good times along the way. I still get to talk to a few of my fellow classmates, and everyone seems to be doing rather well. High school didn't break us.
I became involved with theatre my sophomore year, and I really enjoyed it. Bunnell Theatre Company was unlike any other organization I had ever seen. I was sucked into its vortex at a time when I was most impressionable, and, although I was crushed when the school decided to disband it, I'm happy about it now. I couldn't see it, but, in hindsight, I was brainwashed to a degree. That scares the hell out of me now. There's no telling what I would have done if we had been allowed to continue. I almost lost a good friend because of BTC he had tried to warn me that the group was changing me, but I didn't want to hear it. The school actually did me a favor.
My senior year, I got involved with the school literary magazine, being co-editor of a side-mag we had decided to put out that year. There were definitely some strange people in that group, but they were cool, too, in my book anyway. We all got along well, even while being extremely competitive with one another because we all thought our writing was the best (which cracks me up now because my writing sucked ass) and should go on page one.
I got involved with the Student Theatre Arts Guild of Entertainment that year, as well. To this day, the members of S.T.A.G.E. are by far some of the coolest people I have ever had the privilege to know. We spent every single day together that year. And although there were a few members who didn't hang out with us on a regular basis, we all got along rather well for such a large group. I DO wish more people had come along for our nightly ritual at D&D after play practice because I hate to think we alienated anyone. Everyone rocked (well, except for that Carrie girl that used to follow my boyfriend around - she was a pain in the arse).
This is what I remember most about high school. All of us hanging out, having some coffee and a few cigs, waxing philosophic on the godliness of Eddie Vedder and whether Jesus really wore biker shorts under his toga and Tevas were his sandal of choice (you had to be there).
My younger sister still makes fun of all of us "theatre freaks" to this day, simply because we werent cool enough for her and her motley band of troublemakers. My oldest niece has followed in my footsteps and has joined the theatre group as well, not to mention the marching band, and my sister makes fun of her for it, too. What my sister doesnt get is that groups like that make a lasting impression on a person, and you really find some of the nicest and most creative people within their boundaries. And you usually make some life-long friends, as well.
My husband doesn't get it, either. He still has a few friends from high school, but he gets pissy because its hard to make plans with them. And they don't try to make as much of an effort as he does to stay in touch. I've tried to explain to him that he made most of those friends while they were stinking drunk and stoned off their asses, and now that he doesn't do any of that anymore, they don't really want anything to do with him. He's grown up. He has a wife, a baby on the way, a house, a new car, property taxes and health insurance to pay, not to mention a job he works at 50+ hours a week. And they still party. That's all they do.
He wonders how I stay in touch with people from all those years ago, whether it's going out for a coffee or writing an email occasionally. And I tell him it's simply because we grew up, REALLY grew up together. These people are like home to me.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
Feeling Inspired - Top 10 Animated Movies
I don't think I could make a top 10 movie list, but Steve's idea for a top 10 animated movie list is right up my alley. So here are my choices in no particular order:
1. The Last Unicorn - I grew up watching this movie. I love everything about it: the story, the characters, the voices, and, of course, the unicorn. It is still one of my all-time favorite movies, and book, for that matter.
2. An American Tail - "I'm coming, Papa!" Brings a tear to my eye every time.
3. The Lion King - I didn't see this movie until my senior year in high school when Art brought it in for us to watch during theatre class. We sat and looked for all the technical theatre aspects of the film (triangles, lighting, etc), and I fell in love with the film while studying it. I mean, a cartoon loosely based on Hamlet; what's not to love?
4. A Charlie Brown Christmas - I love Peanuts. And Linus's little speech in this movie always moves me.
5. The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings - I'll group these two together. I hang my head in shame because I actually didn't see these two films until I bought them for Harry on our first Valentine's Day. What kind of a Sci-fi/Fantasy geek am I?
6. Finding Nemo - I like the turtles. And Dory. And the story.
7. The Nightmare Before Christmas - Claymation. Danny Elfman. Tim Burton. 'Nuff said.
8. Heavy Metal - I just like it. And I'm a CHICK.
9. The Secret of NIMH - Good as a kid; even better as an adult.
10. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - Dude, it's Batman.
1. The Last Unicorn - I grew up watching this movie. I love everything about it: the story, the characters, the voices, and, of course, the unicorn. It is still one of my all-time favorite movies, and book, for that matter.
2. An American Tail - "I'm coming, Papa!" Brings a tear to my eye every time.
3. The Lion King - I didn't see this movie until my senior year in high school when Art brought it in for us to watch during theatre class. We sat and looked for all the technical theatre aspects of the film (triangles, lighting, etc), and I fell in love with the film while studying it. I mean, a cartoon loosely based on Hamlet; what's not to love?
4. A Charlie Brown Christmas - I love Peanuts. And Linus's little speech in this movie always moves me.
5. The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings - I'll group these two together. I hang my head in shame because I actually didn't see these two films until I bought them for Harry on our first Valentine's Day. What kind of a Sci-fi/Fantasy geek am I?
6. Finding Nemo - I like the turtles. And Dory. And the story.
7. The Nightmare Before Christmas - Claymation. Danny Elfman. Tim Burton. 'Nuff said.
8. Heavy Metal - I just like it. And I'm a CHICK.
9. The Secret of NIMH - Good as a kid; even better as an adult.
10. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - Dude, it's Batman.
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
Saturday, April 1, 2006
We're goin' on a road trip.
Nothing spectacular. We're going to visit Rob and catch a Providence Bruins game. Always up for hockey.
I think it's been over a year since I saw Rob. How we let that much time go by when we live less than two hours apart is beyond me. I suck at being a friend sometimes.
I'll be driving Harry, Kim, and Chris up I-95, passed the casinos, straight into West Warwick, RI. Harry will cry when we don't take exit 92. He'll have to get over it. Heh heh.
I think it's been over a year since I saw Rob. How we let that much time go by when we live less than two hours apart is beyond me. I suck at being a friend sometimes.
I'll be driving Harry, Kim, and Chris up I-95, passed the casinos, straight into West Warwick, RI. Harry will cry when we don't take exit 92. He'll have to get over it. Heh heh.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
So Guess What?
Guess What? Guess What? Guess What? Guess What?
You'll never guess.
Never, never.
Want a hint?
Ummmm, I need to clean out my spare room.
Visitors?
A new gym?
Video Arcade?
Nope, nope, nope.
Give up.
How about... A NEW BABY!
Yes, that's right. I'm going to have a baby.
I spent all day yesterday not telling a single soul, only to find out Harry couldn't keep it in and told a coworker! Can you believe that? He told a coworker first! Before even telling his mom.
Needless to say, I got right on the horn and told my mom, my dad, and Kim.
So happy. So happy. I am blessed.
You'll never guess.
Never, never.
Want a hint?
Ummmm, I need to clean out my spare room.
Visitors?
A new gym?
Video Arcade?
Nope, nope, nope.
Give up.
How about... A NEW BABY!
Yes, that's right. I'm going to have a baby.
I spent all day yesterday not telling a single soul, only to find out Harry couldn't keep it in and told a coworker! Can you believe that? He told a coworker first! Before even telling his mom.
Needless to say, I got right on the horn and told my mom, my dad, and Kim.
So happy. So happy. I am blessed.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark... Strange things are afoot at the Circle K...
There is something desperately wrong with this world when Paul McCartney and Mariah Carey are both nominated for Album of the Year.
Shame on the Grammy's. They are SO on my list.
Shame on the Grammy's. They are SO on my list.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
My Inner Child is Coffee
I wished I had penned that line, but, alas, I have to give Andy Stochansky the credit for those words of wit and wisdom. The line wasn't actually even penned; it was part of the banter between Stochansky and Ani Difranco during one of her concerts when he was playing drums for her.
My inner child is coffee. It really is. My whole life is coffee.
When I first started drinking coffee, my dad would load it up with sugar and milk for me. I was probably about 5. It was light and sweet and oh-so-good, just like me.
In high school, I discovered iced coffee. So, even though it was still light and sweet, there was now a bit of frostiness added to it. Yep, that was me during high school.
I drank iced coffee for years after that, but as time wore on, and I became more comfortable in my own skin, I added warm coffee to my diet (heh heh). And a lot of it. I guess I was trying to fill myself up with what I had been missing all those years.
And now I'm here, drinking my morning coffee, which is warm and lightened with a little cream. No need for the sugar; I no longer need that high.
Did that analogy suck or what?
My inner child is coffee. It really is. My whole life is coffee.
When I first started drinking coffee, my dad would load it up with sugar and milk for me. I was probably about 5. It was light and sweet and oh-so-good, just like me.
In high school, I discovered iced coffee. So, even though it was still light and sweet, there was now a bit of frostiness added to it. Yep, that was me during high school.
I drank iced coffee for years after that, but as time wore on, and I became more comfortable in my own skin, I added warm coffee to my diet (heh heh). And a lot of it. I guess I was trying to fill myself up with what I had been missing all those years.
And now I'm here, drinking my morning coffee, which is warm and lightened with a little cream. No need for the sugar; I no longer need that high.
Did that analogy suck or what?
Monday, January 16, 2006
This will be my next tattoo
It's going on the center of my back. It's a part of a much larger project I've got in mind-- an entire faerie land taking up the whole of my back. It'll probably take me a few years to complete, but it's gonna be so worth it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Maybe you should train Jelly
I read an article last week on Yahoo news about this guy and his heroic cat.
The guy had a heart attack or something, and, supposedly, his cat dialed 911. No, seriously.
When officers arrived at the home, they found the man unconscious on the floor and his faithful cat there, waiting beside them. There was a phone with huge buttons on it sitting on the floor on the other side of the room off the hook, as well.
They called an ambulance, raced the guy to the hospital, and his life was saved. They later interviewed him to see what had happened.
He had told them he had gotten the cat a couple of years prior to help lower his blood pressure (pets seem to calm people down). He saw that the cat was pretty smart right away, so he thought maybe he could train the cat to help him out if he ever needed it.
He said he had purchased a phone with large buttons on it that were programmable. He placed the phone on the floor so the cat could easily access it, and, somehow trained the cat to push the 911 button in case of an emergency.
He also said he wasn't sure the training had ever took up until that point because there had never been a reason to dial 911 before.
The police themselves were baffled because it really did look like the cat had called them. When dispatch got the call, there was no one on the other end of the line, and, when they called back, the phone line was busy. So, they decided to send a car out just in case.
My question is: How do you train a cat to know what an emergency is? And how do you get the cat to ONLY push the button during this said emergency? I mean, the guy was never in the can a little too long, long enough to make the cat nervous and dial? The guy never left for the day, and the cat decided to try out his newly learned skill?
The whole thing, while sweet, is a little hokey to me.
The guy had a heart attack or something, and, supposedly, his cat dialed 911. No, seriously.
When officers arrived at the home, they found the man unconscious on the floor and his faithful cat there, waiting beside them. There was a phone with huge buttons on it sitting on the floor on the other side of the room off the hook, as well.
They called an ambulance, raced the guy to the hospital, and his life was saved. They later interviewed him to see what had happened.
He had told them he had gotten the cat a couple of years prior to help lower his blood pressure (pets seem to calm people down). He saw that the cat was pretty smart right away, so he thought maybe he could train the cat to help him out if he ever needed it.
He said he had purchased a phone with large buttons on it that were programmable. He placed the phone on the floor so the cat could easily access it, and, somehow trained the cat to push the 911 button in case of an emergency.
He also said he wasn't sure the training had ever took up until that point because there had never been a reason to dial 911 before.
The police themselves were baffled because it really did look like the cat had called them. When dispatch got the call, there was no one on the other end of the line, and, when they called back, the phone line was busy. So, they decided to send a car out just in case.
My question is: How do you train a cat to know what an emergency is? And how do you get the cat to ONLY push the button during this said emergency? I mean, the guy was never in the can a little too long, long enough to make the cat nervous and dial? The guy never left for the day, and the cat decided to try out his newly learned skill?
The whole thing, while sweet, is a little hokey to me.
Sunday, January 8, 2006
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
If you could erase someone, would you?
I think maybe I would.
Not because it pains me to think about him, but because his eyes still haunt me. His voice still finds me in my dreams.
I can't get away from him.
He's a living ghost to me...
...
...
No one should have that kind of a hold on another human being.
No one.
No matter how far I move on, no matter how much happiness fills my life, no matter how much love I give to my husband...
that burden of knowing him is still with me.
Always.
Yes, I think I'd make it go away.
I think maybe I would.
Not because it pains me to think about him, but because his eyes still haunt me. His voice still finds me in my dreams.
I can't get away from him.
He's a living ghost to me...
...
...
No one should have that kind of a hold on another human being.
No one.
No matter how far I move on, no matter how much happiness fills my life, no matter how much love I give to my husband...
that burden of knowing him is still with me.
Always.
Yes, I think I'd make it go away.
Friday, January 6, 2006
We weren't Gen X, we were Gen TV
We sat around the office all day yesterday listening to TV theme songs while we worked. Growing Pains, Family Ties, Knots Landing, Dynasty, Underdog, Mighty Mouse... you name it, we sang along with it.
Seems we were all brought up by TV.
Seems we were all brought up by TV.
Thursday, January 5, 2006
Read anything by Tim Sandlin
I hate romance novels, yet I love sex scenes in novels that are not in the romance novel genre.
Does that make me peculiar?
Maybe it's the romance I don't like.
That or the use of the word loins.
Does that make me peculiar?
Maybe it's the romance I don't like.
That or the use of the word loins.
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
Contrary to popular belief...
I was not killed in a car crash last week.
A woman, with my same name, that also lives in Connecticut, died in automobile accident last Thursday.
I got a frantic message on my cell phone from a co-worker Thursday evening around 10:30pm, asking me to call him back as soon as I got it because he had heard that Alicia _____, driving a Honda Civic, was killed.
I called him back and assured him I was alive and kicking. He had gotten so worried he had called another co-worker, who immediately jumped on the internet to see if he could find any more details.
The two of them found an article stating the woman was 42 years old, and, therefore, not me.
The next day at work, a few other people had also heard about this unfortunate woman's fate.
It gave me chills to hear that this woman had died. It's not everyday your name is splashed all over the papers, and radio news, and TV news, as well. And to hear that you had died? Well, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
A woman, with my same name, that also lives in Connecticut, died in automobile accident last Thursday.
I got a frantic message on my cell phone from a co-worker Thursday evening around 10:30pm, asking me to call him back as soon as I got it because he had heard that Alicia _____, driving a Honda Civic, was killed.
I called him back and assured him I was alive and kicking. He had gotten so worried he had called another co-worker, who immediately jumped on the internet to see if he could find any more details.
The two of them found an article stating the woman was 42 years old, and, therefore, not me.
The next day at work, a few other people had also heard about this unfortunate woman's fate.
It gave me chills to hear that this woman had died. It's not everyday your name is splashed all over the papers, and radio news, and TV news, as well. And to hear that you had died? Well, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
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