Frustration

Harry's MRI and ultrasound are on Tuesday, May 26th. I'm hoping we'll get results by the end of that week. It's frustrating, to say the least. Having to wait is never any fun. All the what-ifs crowd your mind and make you crazy. Both of us just want to get it over with.

More frustration comes in the form of my second weigh in day. I only lost 0.8 lbs this week. WTF? Seriously. I know I should be happy because it's a loss, but it's only week 2 for God's sake. I should be dropping 2-3 more this week. What gives? The only thing I added this week was red wine, substituting it for the small bowl of frozen yogurt I have in the evening. I had it Wednesday and Thursday night. It's not like I sucked a whole bottle down; I had about 8 oz each night, 2 small glasses. That's normal.

Yes, I've been walking every day, so muscle is starting to substitute fat. Yes, my clothes feel looser. I'm sure my measurements are smaller. Years of abuse by that damn scale makes it hard to be happy about that though. Those numbers ticking off on that evil beast will forever be important. I can't help it.

I'm not giving up, but I'm seriously bummed today. I was feeling so good yesterday after my walk. All week, I'd noticed how much lighter I felt. It may seem stupid to some people, but I felt good, felt healthy. I had even warned myself to keep that feeling in mind when I stepped on the scale this morning because I had an inkling that I didn't lose much. It still didn't help the disappointment I felt. It's helped even less that on Tuesday I weighed less than I do today. I thought I was on track, and suddenly, a few days later, it's like "fooled you!"

Don't mind me. I'm just really pissy about the whole thing. They say if you follow the program, you'll see results. Well I followed it, and I'm not getting the results I should. It angers me to say the least. Yes, I know the anger doesn't help, but I feel it anyway.

Hopefully next week will be better.