"Tan accessories"

Another rainy day at least I can still wear tights. I love tights and they really bring an outfit to life and I love them with open toe shoes. Today I am wearing a vintage all in one it was to the knee but my very talented friend shortened it for me. She does quite a few bits for me it is a great way to put new life into a garment. I have teamed it with a shoulder bag from Miss Selfridges, Giorgio Armani shoes and a tan plaited leather belt.
I love tan accessories they seem to go with everything and add interest to an outfit

8 years ago today...

the mister and I started dating. 8 years, and we haven't killed each other yet. Something to celebrate.

I love you, Harry.

I did it!

A quickie...

I hit the 20-lbs-lost mark this weekend! Woo hoo! Not too shabby for 11 weeks. To top it off, I found a boxed brownie mix that's made from whole wheat and is only 2 pts per serving. I just integrated my first baked good into my eating plan. And I only ate one. Baby steps, baby steps.

I want Lolly to makeover my blog!

Looking for a new blog to read? Check out Mommy is Rock n Roll. Lolly's given her blog a major overhaul, and I'm totally jealous. It looks awesome so far. She's a new mommy with a kickass sense of humor, is brutally honest, and someone I have quickly and easily come to admire. Just thought I'd pimp her out:)

(Yeah, I used a cutesy smiley-face. So sue me.)

"Thigh's the limit"

Ronit Zilkha A/W06

Today is my day off and I am off to meet my mum for lunch. My thigh high boots from Topshop arrived the other day and I have not had a chance to wear them but seeing as it is wet and windy today I decided to give them a go they are surprising comfortable seeing that they are 5" high and have a 1.5" platform walking in them is an art form not to sure if I will survive a day at work but come September I will give it a try.

My dress is by Ronit Zilkha it is actually a Liberty print could not tell you which one but is a very pretty print and a very good friend of mine who is very handy with a needle and thread shortened it for me. I have added two pictures of how the dress looked before the alteration. I accessorised it with my bow on a necklace and elasticated belt both by Topshop.

Lots of stuff!

This weekend, we had out-of-town guests stay at our house for the first time. The house isn't very big (only 1008 sf), and adding 2 more adults and 2 more children made for an interesting yet fun visit.

I met Audra through one of my oldest friends, Jessica. They went to college together and then crossed the U.S. right after college to move to L.A. I had met her a few times before their trek, and I also hung out with her on the few trips I made out to CA. We always got along famously well and noticed many parallels in our lives whenever we'd meet again.

Both of us got married within the same 12 month period (I think), and we both ended up having our first child in 2006, she in the beginning of the year, and me near the end. We both now live on the East Coast again, and up until recently, we both lived in basement apartments with family members living above (oh the stories we trade!).

This visit was very similar to the others with us finding how much we still have in common even though both our lives have drastically changed. We parent much the same way, and as she pointed out, as much as we self-criticize, we both have pretty well-behaved kids. Woo hoo.

Ellie and her oldest, Noah, had a blast this weekend. They chased each other continuously, fought over toys (not too much really), got to swim in the pool, just pretty much just be kids. Oh, how I envy. Her youngest, little Jake, is such a cutie. I must admit he stole my heart. And her husband, Jon, is really quite nice. This is the first time I met him, and I thought he was pretty cool. Audra has a lovely family.

We talked for hours once the kids were in bed, and that was by far my favorite part of the weekend. I love to gab, share horror stories about births and such, and laugh about all the stupid things we did when we were younger. I wished we could have stayed up to chat all night, but that's not really feasible for moms.

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Among all the other stuff we did, we made a trip to my local zoo. I just had to put that in here because I got an amazing picture while we were there, and I want to share:



Is this not amazing? They built a new viewing house that overlooks the wolf enclosure so you can see the wolves more close up. It's amazing. During this trip, we experienced something we've never seen or heard at the zoo. The two timber wolves were sleeping as usual, when all of a sudden the both stood up and started howling. Slowly, the red wolves and the maned wolves in the other enclosures joined them. It sounded like a sad lament but it was utterly beautiful in the most basic form of nature, if that makes any sense. I took that shot from my side of the glass wall in mid howl. The zoo worker that was in the observation house told us we had to go outside to listen because it was even more fantastic than listening to it in there. We all ran out, and he was so right. I am so glad I got to witness it. We have no idea what they were howling about, but it was incredible nonetheless.

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Ellie's pretty much fully potty-trained now. She does naps, overnights, the works. And last night, she pooped in the potty for the first time. I freakin' threw a party. She got like 20 stickers for that one. I am ecstatic.

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Yesterday, I decided to take the day off and hung out with my mom. Neither of us can even remember the last time we spent the day together. It may have been before Harry and I started dating. We had a wonderful day together. I couldn't be happier. And, to top it all off, she babysat last night so Harry and I could go see Harry Potter. Contrary to the book lovers/movie haters, I enjoyed the movie immensely. I could forgive the changes and omissions because I was fully entertained. I want to go see it again. I didn't even remember some of the major omissions until an hour later, so it was no big loss to me. I told Harry about some of them, and he proclaimed, "Man, those would have been cool!" LOL. Yes, they would have. He's hoping they're maybe in an extended DVD version. I don't think that's gonna happen. I know my niece doesn't agree with me, but there are times when I can like both the book and the movie for different reasons. This is one of them.

Another Good Day!

We're two for two! Ellie was a doll last night. She ate her dinner, she listened, like really listened when I spoke to her, and there were no tantrums. Best of all, I was already in a good mood, and Ellie's good mood put me in a fantastic mood. Can't beat that.

And why was I in such a good mood? A simple shirt is the culprit. Last year, I bought this really pretty charcoal grey, button-down shirt that barely fit. The sleeves were tight, it just buttoned without looking like it was bursting, etc. It was flattering for my size, but I wished it was just the tiniest bit bigger.

I haven't worn the shirt in awhile, mostly because as pretty as it was, it made me feel rather large because of the fit. Yesterday, I decided to pull it out of the closet and see if it looked any better on me now that I've lost 18 lbs. Holy crap! It's friggin' loose. Even the arms are loose, which had me doing a happy dance since losing weight in my arms is the most difficult and stubborn area of my body to lose.

I just couldn't believe it. It almost looked like a maternity shirt! Lucky for me, that's kind of the style now so no one asked if I was knocked up. Heh heh. Another 10 lbs, and I won't even be able to wear it anymore. I may just get it tailored I love it that much.

This weekend, I also bought a few storage bins and packed away all my larger clothes. It was very cathartic. I hope I never have to see them again. Yeah, I know you're supposed to throw them out, but I'm just not ready to do that yet. I did that seven years ago and ended up having to buy all new clothes a few years later. I hate wasting money.

I think I can start wearing all my smaller clothes that have been sitting idly by for the past few years, waiting to be used again. That's exciting too. I especially love my summer dresses that I can now fit in again. Love it, love it.

I need more days like this.

The one where she makes me look like a total liar

Last night was a complete 180 from the night before. No one raised their voice, there was no crying, there was no whining. Ah, blissful contentment.

Yesterday, after I wrote my post, I sat here at the office thinking about what I'm doing wrong. Sure, Ellie's a handful, but I play a part in the whole thing as well. As Becs pointed out, I flat out said that last week... that Ellie plays off of my moods. As Becs also pointed out, Ellie does this simply because she can. Put the two together, and you can surely have mass hysteria.

Hearing Chrissi say that Saskia was the same way and is now the easiest child imaginable picked me up a little (although she did admit 3 was hard - sigh), and hearing Cathy say that Noah is a great 3-year-old with only bouts of "bad" behavior (I can't bring myself to tell Ellie she's bad; I do tell her that what she did was bad, which I hope doesn't mean the same thing in her mind) made me smile deliriously.

I also took into consideration picking up a book or two dealing with "spirited" children since I got a few suggestions in the comments section. I looked up the one Cristina mentioned, Parenting With Love and Logic, but a few of the reviews kind of turned me off the book. While reading the reviews, another book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & How to Listen so Kids Will Talk, was mentioned numerous times, so I gave that one a look-see. The only bad review I noticed labeled the book "secular nonsense" which actually made me laugh out loud. I've got no problem with a book that teaches you how to talk to your children so they'll listen and doesn't bring God into the equation. I'm not anti-God, don't get me wrong, but I won't condemn a book simply because God is not mentioned in it.

Most of the reviews said the book uses practical tools, staying away from abstract theories on how to talk to your kids. That's exactly what I'm looking for. Just give me the basics. Many also said that the book in general is a great tool to teach you how to communicate with just about anyone... toddlers, preschoolers, children, teenagers, and adults alike. Excellent. And the kicker, one review was titled, "Alternatives to Yelling, Nagging, Threatening, Criticizing". Phenomenal. Sold!

I ordered the book, along with 2 Neil Gaiman children's books for Miss Ellie (gotta start her early on her Gaiman!). I seem to have this nasty habit of buying Ellie a book pretty much any time I'm ordering one for myself. I can't seem to stop myself. The girl has more books than I did my entire childhood.

The title of the book itself gave me pause yesterday as well. I want Ellie to listen so badly, but it also made me realize that Ellie's I'm-ignoring-what-you-say behavior has been learned. And she learned it from me. I quickly came to the conclusion that advice I had been given some time ago (don't remember from who, but it went something like, "If a child continues to ask for things, simply ignore the question. Do not respond. Eventually, the child will give up) was actually backfiring on me.

Ellie is a repeater. She insists on repeating things over and over again, even if and when you respond. I had gotten to the point that I just flat out ignored her when she goes on and on. If she asks for something she knows she can't have, I don't answer her because I don't want to keep saying no to her all the time. In turn, I suddenly see she's been doing the same thing to me... if the answer is no, she just ignores me all together. How frustrating! Then again, it must be doubly frustrating to a little girl with a million ideas zooming through her head who lacks the verbal skills to communicate them. I'm an ass.

So last night, I took my new theory for a test drive. I listened when she spoke, and instead of saying no, I explained to her why we could or couldn't do something. Example: She asked for chocolate milk before dinner. Normally I say no or ignore it. Last night, when she asked, I quickly asked Harry when was the last time she had a drink. It had been awhile, so I told her she could have 1/2 a cup, then more with dinner. She was content with that until the 1/2 cup was gone and asked for more. I told her she could have more at dinner. A few minutes later, she asked again, and I told her again she could have more with dinner. I think she may have asked once more, and I replied once more before she stopped asking. Not too bad. It's actual progress.

Normally, she's a bit underfoot while I'm making dinner, so I keep shooing her out of the kitchen. Last night, instead of shooing her out, I asked her if she could go into the fridge for the butter and put it on the table. Holy crap, you'd think I just gave her the biggest present in the world. She was psyched to be asked to help! As I was putting the plates on the table I told her she was old enough and she could put her own cheese (with daddy's help) on her pasta. Again, it's like it was friggin' Christmas for this kid!

She's a really picky eater, and dinners have been battles at the house. There are nights when she doesn't really eat anything. And she likes to throw what she doesn't like on the ground or chucks it at people's heads (yeah, we don't really have dinner guests often - lol). Her throwing really upsets both Harry and me, and we normally end up raising our voices which just seems to antagonize her more.

Last night, she didn't want her peas, and she was getting ready to throw, throw, throw! We politely asked her if she'd put whatever she didn't want on a paper towel instead, and she actually said OK. And she did it. I think she threw one the whole night, and we just quietly reminded her that the paper towel was there for whatever she didn't want. AND she ate well. Really well. I want to cry I'm so happy.

I know this is just one night out of many, and it's baby-steps as well, but last night was just wonderful. After we finished dinner, she asked if we could go outside, and normally, since it was 15 minutes to bathtime, I'd say no, but I figured why not? She's in a good mood, I'm in a good mood, let's go for it. I may have to wrestle her back into the house after only 15 minutes, but I'm not going to dwell on it.

We played on the swingset and played kickball for a bit, and when it was time to go in, she easily complied. Who is this child? Not one protest. I tried not to show how surprised I was because I thought for sure I'd jinx it.

She took her bath, actually told me when she wanted to get out instead of me arguing with her that she was turning into a prune, brushed her teeth, and didn't fight bedtime after I explained that I knew she wanted to stay up but it really was time she went to sleep.

I'm still in shock.

3 is not worse than 2, 3 is not worse than 2

This is what I keep telling myself because if I were to believe all those mommies that emphatically state that the terrible twos have nothing on the much tougher threes, I will go insane.

My daughter is a Tasmanian Devil. No, really, she is.



(Awww, cute!)



(And then she opens her mouth and lets out an allmighty roar!)

I watched 4 nieces grow up, and none of them were anything like Ellie. I know you can't really judge one child by another, but my nieces are what I have to go on. All of them pretty much went through the same stages and were relatively low key around the ages of 2 and 3. My mom has also said that my sisters and I were much like my nieces.

Naturally, I get the "spirited child".

I love Ellie's energy. I love her humor and her spunk. She makes me smile, and she makes me proud. She knows what she wants, and she definitely knows what she doesn't want. She's headstrong and extremely stubborn (like way more stubborn than me). She's imaginative and creative. She smiles easily and is very social. She's every parents dream-girl. I know that all the attributes will make her a strong force to be reckoned with as she grows older and matures, and I want that for her. I don't want her to be pushed around. I want her to be respected for her ideas and values.

At the same time, there are days when I end up a heaping pile of tears by the time she goes to bed. Yesterday, I wrestled her for half an hour, trying to cut her nails. It was absolutely awful. She screamed and cried and kicked and punched, and there was nothing I could do to calm her down. I freaked, and the only thing I could think of was to wrap myself around her so she wouldn't hurt herself or me (she throws a mean punch and she's got insanely strong legs). And the whole time, I had the little nail scissors in my hand, stuck to my fingers, and I was so afraid I was going to hurt her with them somehow. She was relentless and still wouldn't calm down, so I thought maybe the opposite would work just let her go. She immediately stopped crying, waved goodbye to me, smiled, and went into the other room. All the while, I'm quietly saying, "What's wrong with you, Ellie?" Her wave and smile was the only reply.

I know it's normal behavior for a 2-year-old. I know. I keep telling myself that. And yet, I can't keep my reactions in check. She ignores me when I speak to her half the time, and it drives me crazy. I'll ask her a question, I'll see she's heard, but she refuses to answer. Just because she can. It breaks my will. I pull her to the side so there's no distraction, ask her again in a calm voice, and she just stares at me with a little smirk on her face, remaining silent. It kills me. I either end up raising my voice or begging her to answer. How sad is that? Just who the hell is in charge here? It's certainly not me.

How did a 2-year-old suddenly take over our lives? Why is she calling the shots?

I'm sometimes really just at a loss. Speaking to her calmly does nothing. Raising my voice does nothing. Time out for the most part does nothing (she LIKES going to time out - lovely). I just want to tear my hair out and run away (but I won't).

What gets me is that there are days when she's perfectly lovely and amicable. I've noticed that this usually happens when we're one-on-one. It seems that having both Harry and me at her beck and call brings out the worst in her (I'm sure it's way better when it's just Harry and Ellie too). Saturday mornings when Harry's working overtime are wonderful. Ellie and I hang out, there's no yelling from either party, we do things together, we talk, we play, it's amazing.

I'm just very, very tired. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of my anger and my worries and the fact that I freeze up and grit my teeth and tighten the muscles in my back when I see the storm coming. It's doing a number on my stress levels and it gives me raging headaches. And if this gets worse when she turns 3, I may need professional help. I wish I were kidding.

Anyone know of any natural remedies for stress and anxiety? I'm all ears.

I should bake cookies more often!

Since my little sister let the cat out of the bag and told my older sister about her wedding shower (at least it wasn't me!), I can talk about it here I guess. I'm actually really looking forward to it. I get a little "girl time", which is always nice, and I get to see some of my family as well. Debby's best friend since high school, Linda, is helping my nieces throw it, so I know it's going to be a really lovely occasion. She asked if I'd make cookies (she saw the Christmas pics on Facebook... my secret life as a baker is out!), and of course I said yes.

Yes... I agreed to bake cookies... while on weight watchers... in the middle of the summer. Dumbass.

Lucky for me, it's been a very cool week here in CT, so the house didn't overheat with the oven on for hours at a time. On Monday, I whipped up the oatmeal carmelitas and peanut butter blossoms(I use shortening instead of butter for these) since they can chill in the fridge for a few days. I also made the dough for 2 more huge batches of cookies, the Reeses chewy chocolate cookies and plain old sugar cookies. I spent over 3 hours baking and mixing that night. Whew!

Last night, I baked the Reeses and sugar cookie doughs, bagged them and refrigerated/freezed them. I ended up making huge batches of the peanut butter blossoms, caramelitas, and Reeses and splitting them in half so I could freeze some for Debby's wedding next month (I is smart... SMRT!).

And through all of that, I didn't eat one cookie. Not one! Me, the cookie binger, managed not to even nibble a delectable morsel of chocolatey baked goodness. How's that for willpower?

And the payoff? I lost 3.2 lbs this week. Seriously! That brings me up to 18 lbs lost in 9 weeks. Ha! Take that you stupid, delicious cookies. In your face!

Another Recipe - Baked Ziti (8 servings)

So I gave y'all the recipe for the pizza meatloaf muffins. Here's a recipe for the leftover muffins (if there were any). It's super easy and surprisingly delicious.

Preheat over to 375*

Cook 12 oz ziti (I use ziti rigati because the little lines on the pasta hold sauce really well) al dente. While that's cooking up, throw a 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes and 3 to 4 chopped up meatloaf muffins in a large skillet. Season with your fave Italian seasoning (I used fresh parsely and oregano this time, but you can also use dried herbs... basil if you like sweet, thyme is a little earthy, etc). Simmer for the 10 minutes or so your ziti is cooking up. Once the ziti is done, drain and immediately add it to the skillet o'stuff. Turn off heat. Mix thoroughly.

Line the bottom of a lasagna pan with a little sauce, then a layer of the skillet o'stuff. Sprinkle 1/2 cup part-skim mozzarella cheese. Add another layer of skillet o'stuff and another 1/2 cup of the mozzarella cheese. Do not cover.

Pop in the over for 20 minutes (the original recipe says 30, but 20 is plenty). Let sit at least 5 minutes once out of the oven so the cheese can cool slightly. Presto! The easiest baked ziti ever.

I thought for sure I wouldn't like this recipe because
1) 1 cup of cheese? Seriously? I usually use 2 for baked ziti.
2) no ricotta? Surely you jest!
3) No sauce, puree, or paste? Hmmm.

I was wrong on all 3 counts. The dish is fantastic and filling. For WW followers, 1 serving is 5 pts. Yep, 5 pts. I can even make this dish on a weekday, that's how quick and easy it is. And it's delish out of the microwave too, which is a bonus. I bring the leftovers for the next few days after for lunch here at work.

Harry can't get enough of it too. He's amazed that so few ingredients can be so flavorful.

And you can always just substitute lean ground beef or turkey for the meatloafs. Before putting the crushed tomatoes in the skillet, heat up a little extra virgin olive oil and minced garlic. Then add the ground beef/turkey and brown. Then add the crushed tomatoes. Easy peasy! I don't know why I just wrote that. I never say "easy peasy".

Helena picked me to join in the fun (fun is in the eye of the beholder here), so here goes.

Tell ten truths about yourself. Simply. Easy. Riiiiggghhht.

1. I eat raw brownie batter, salmonella be damned. Raw cake batter sucks, but brownie batter... yum. It should be sold like ice cream, in cartons.

2. I was told that I was hurting an entire family when trying to win back (or just simply win since he fought it so hard to begin with) an old love. Yeah, something to be proud of.

3. My kid totally feeds off my moods. The more frustrated I get, the more she tries to frustrate me. If I'm happy and relaxed, she's so chillaxed it's scary. You would think this would mean that I'm riding the mellow all the time. That's unfortunately not true. I'm a big angerball the majority of the time, though I try to hide it as much as I can. Lately, I can't do that, and it's a little scary. I think it might actually be time to seek a little help in this area. At least I can admit it.

4. When I was little, I wanted to break my arm because I wanted a cast. Casts were cool. I was an idiot.

5. I married someone who doesn't like books. For a long time, I said it didn't matter. Now, it makes me a little sad. I miss talking about novels.

6. I am insanely excited to go to Sesame Place in August. I think I'll probably have more fun than Ellie.

7. I really dislike myself on occasion. I find myself annoying in the extreme and wonder why people put up with me. Is everyone like this? I kinda hope so.

8. I can't really lie. Before I can even think of something realistically possible to hide something, I'm blurting the truth out.

9. I do not miss writing poetry.

10. My kid's neuroses, namely the need for things to be a certain way, drives me insane. Pot, meet kettle.

OK, that wasn't so bad. It feels good to say some of that stuff out loud.

Now to choose a few lucky winners (the term winner is also in the eye of the beholder here).

Shenry
Chrissi
Stephanie
Lolly
KP

Birthday-rama and 4-day weekend!

3 people very near and dear to my heart are celebrating their birthdays today... my lovely niece, Jes, who turns 20 today (she's not a teenager anymore!), my wonderful blogging friend, Shenry, who loves jackalopes and is a music pirate just like me, and the fabulous Annita, who says the words "moist panties" like no one else I know. Happy birthday to all!

I'm also impatiently waiting for my 4-day weekend to begin. I scheduled tomorrow off so Harry and I could have a date-day. We're planning on going to see Transformers and loafing around the house most of the day, but it'll be loafing together (ah romance). Oh, and I conned Harry into taking a walk with me tomorrow morning so I can get my daily dose of exercise.

Meanwhile, Harry's been home all week (lucky!), and he's managed to tackle another home project the past couple of days. After nearly a year in the house, we finally have floor trim! He did a wonderful job, and the house finally looks complete. Go Harry! Today, he plans on fishing for most of the day. He deserves it too. He works very hard, both at his place of employment and at home, so the least he can do for himself is go and enjoy a beautiful summer day on the lake. He may even finally get to use the canoe I got him last year for father's day. With moving in last summer, he never got around to taking it out. How sad is that?

If I don't talk to you before then, y'all have a wonderful Independence Day weekend!