My daughter is a Tasmanian Devil. No, really, she is.
(Awww, cute!)
(And then she opens her mouth and lets out an allmighty roar!)
I watched 4 nieces grow up, and none of them were anything like Ellie. I know you can't really judge one child by another, but my nieces are what I have to go on. All of them pretty much went through the same stages and were relatively low key around the ages of 2 and 3. My mom has also said that my sisters and I were much like my nieces.
Naturally, I get the "spirited child".
I love Ellie's energy. I love her humor and her spunk. She makes me smile, and she makes me proud. She knows what she wants, and she definitely knows what she doesn't want. She's headstrong and extremely stubborn (like way more stubborn than me). She's imaginative and creative. She smiles easily and is very social. She's every parents dream-girl. I know that all the attributes will make her a strong force to be reckoned with as she grows older and matures, and I want that for her. I don't want her to be pushed around. I want her to be respected for her ideas and values.
At the same time, there are days when I end up a heaping pile of tears by the time she goes to bed. Yesterday, I wrestled her for half an hour, trying to cut her nails. It was absolutely awful. She screamed and cried and kicked and punched, and there was nothing I could do to calm her down. I freaked, and the only thing I could think of was to wrap myself around her so she wouldn't hurt herself or me (she throws a mean punch and she's got insanely strong legs). And the whole time, I had the little nail scissors in my hand, stuck to my fingers, and I was so afraid I was going to hurt her with them somehow. She was relentless and still wouldn't calm down, so I thought maybe the opposite would work just let her go. She immediately stopped crying, waved goodbye to me, smiled, and went into the other room. All the while, I'm quietly saying, "What's wrong with you, Ellie?" Her wave and smile was the only reply.
I know it's normal behavior for a 2-year-old. I know. I keep telling myself that. And yet, I can't keep my reactions in check. She ignores me when I speak to her half the time, and it drives me crazy. I'll ask her a question, I'll see she's heard, but she refuses to answer. Just because she can. It breaks my will. I pull her to the side so there's no distraction, ask her again in a calm voice, and she just stares at me with a little smirk on her face, remaining silent. It kills me. I either end up raising my voice or begging her to answer. How sad is that? Just who the hell is in charge here? It's certainly not me.
How did a 2-year-old suddenly take over our lives? Why is she calling the shots?
I'm sometimes really just at a loss. Speaking to her calmly does nothing. Raising my voice does nothing. Time out for the most part does nothing (she LIKES going to time out - lovely). I just want to tear my hair out and run away (but I won't).
What gets me is that there are days when she's perfectly lovely and amicable. I've noticed that this usually happens when we're one-on-one. It seems that having both Harry and me at her beck and call brings out the worst in her (I'm sure it's way better when it's just Harry and Ellie too). Saturday mornings when Harry's working overtime are wonderful. Ellie and I hang out, there's no yelling from either party, we do things together, we talk, we play, it's amazing.
I'm just very, very tired. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of my anger and my worries and the fact that I freeze up and grit my teeth and tighten the muscles in my back when I see the storm coming. It's doing a number on my stress levels and it gives me raging headaches. And if this gets worse when she turns 3, I may need professional help. I wish I were kidding.
Anyone know of any natural remedies for stress and anxiety? I'm all ears.
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