My lettter to my 16-year-old self

Hi there,
I'm you. And I'm more than twice your age right now. That's right, I'm old.

You're pretty angsty right now, and well, that's ok. You're 16. You're supposed to be. I'm trying to think right now what you'd like to know, and well, since you're me, just younger, I think you'd want to know everything. Right? Right.

So. Next year, you'll start hanging out with this really great guy. You become extremely good friends in an extremely short amount of time. He helps you get over that other guy, the one you've been pining away for all year (who, by the way, you're still friends with - crazy). He's got some baggage already at a young age, but he's amazing. He really is. And even though he has a girlfriend, it ends up he likes you. Only you don't find out until it's too late. Yeah, it sucks.

You end up dating this other guy with the same name. He's also part of the theatre troup. And, unfortunately for you, you marry him. At the age of 20. Because you're stupid. Sorry but you are.

When you finally get the guts to leave him, you're already in love with someone else. Don't act so surprised. You know it's possible. You fall hard for guys. You know that. Especially the ones that want to help you.

He's a good guy. He's got some baggage (they ALL have baggage, Hon). It doesn't work out. It ends badly. You don't really speak to each other for years. And that sucks because you were both REALLY good at being friends. The upside is you find your way to each other again, and you end up with a great friendship.

The reason why it ends badly though... that's your fault. You totally fuck up. You do something so monumentally stupid I don't even want to talk to you about it. I wish I could stop it, but I think it's going to happen no matter what. I think it has to happen.

A couple of years later, you meet this other guy. His name is Harry. Yes, I'm telling you his name! Know why? Because you end up marrying him. And you have a child with him. And you build a wonderful life with him. But the only way you meet him is because of all of this other crap. So you can't change anything. You don't want to change anything. Because I'll tell you right now, your life at the age of 33 is fan-fucking-tastic. You have a wonderful husband, you live in a cute little house (dude, I didn't even tell you about having to live with your sister for 11 years - my condolences), you have a good job (you're not teaching - surprise!), and you have the most amazing little girl on the planet. You still cannot believe how fucking lucky you are.

And sometimes you take it for granted. Most people do. Now and then though, you sit back and think about all that you have. And you're thankful. So very thankful. Today is one of those days. Today I sit and talk to my 16-year-old self, and I condemn you to a few really crappy years because I want you to really understand what you end up with. Can you do that? Are you strong enough?

I think you are.

Love you girl,
Me