Reunion Recap

We all had a great time!

It ended up being Steve and Steve, Kevin and his wife, Heather, Tom and his girlfriend, Stacy, Dawn, someone I used to work with that came to the diner with us on occasion back in the day, her fiance, Nelson, and myself. Lea ended up not making it; her car got sick, as she put it. We'll get together after the New Year instead.

The waitresses, namely Jackie and June, were so happy to see us. It's been about 7 years or so since Tom, Kevin, and I were all there together. They went on and on, telling everyone else at the table about how we practically lived at the diner when we were younger. It would have been funnier if it was actually an exaggeration. We really WERE there for hours on end.

We fell into quick conversation, practically talking over one another just to catch up on all that's gone on. Steve B has been out of work since the writer's strike began. He said he may have to actually go over to the dark side and work on... dun dun dun... REALITY TV PRODUCTION. Noooooooooo! Let's hope the writers get what they deserve soon so Steve doesn't have to sell his soul.

Everyone else is just truckin', workwise. We're all still at our respective companies, and we're all doing pretty well. We all talked about books, movies, our kids, television, new places to go in CT, the norm. We fell into our old patterns easily and comfortably.

With one exception.

We left the diner at 10pm instead of 5am. We were all kinda tired.

Reunion

I've managed to keep in touch with friends from high school over the years, either IRL or via email since some have moved across the country. It's always nice to see or hear from them.

There's Lea, who I've known since the 3rd grade (22 years ago!) and still lives in CT. We get together whenever we can for a little coffee talk. She's just bought her first house. I'm jealous (in a good kind of way). Lea and I are now the most alike, the "old married ladies" of the bunch (our own little joke).

There's Jess, who now lives in Oakland (San Francisco before that, LA before that, and Boston before that). We've known each other for 20 years now and manage to send emails a few times a month. We were VERY close in high school and kept in constant contact with each other through college and a few years after, as well. As time marched on, and we grew up, the calls became more infrequent until they pretty much stopped (mainly because I now loathe talking on the phone).

There's Kevin, who I've known for 18 years. We were lunch room friends in high school. We didn't hang out all that much outside of school, and we didn't have any classes together, so we sat together at lunch time. It's funny how you belong to all these different cliques, compartmentalizing all your friends during your formative years. After high school, we started hanging out more, and we ended up being inseparable for years after. We saw each other nearly everyday until we met our current spouses. Now we see each other a few times a year. He still lives in CT, about a 25 minute drive from our hometown.

Tom was also more of an "after high school" friend. We've known each other for 16 years, but we didnt' start a friendship until about a year after high school, even though we had classes together, mutual friends, AND we did theatre together. Kevin, Tom, and I spent pretty much every evening together for about 3 years during our college years. Tom and I made a miserable attempt at some form of a romantic relationship and ended up killing the trio.

I've known Steve A for 18 years. We had many classes together (we were honors geeks:) and we also did theatre together. Again, I didn't really hang out much with Steve, but we talked in class and at play practice. He's super smart and really funny. Last year, I found him on myspace, and we've actually been able to get together a couple of times this summer, which is pretty cool. He now lives in Mass., about 2 hours from our hometown.

Last, but not least, there's Steve B (and yes, the Steve's last name initials are actually A and B; it's not just like Steve #1 and Steve #2 - LOL), who I've known for a whopping 25 years. We met in kindergarten. We lived about 1/2 a mile away from each other growing up. We had LOTS of classes together (he's an honors geek, too). We even stayed in touch after high school. He graduated college a whole year early, spent the summer in CT (and hung out with Tom and I), then moved onto LA, where he's been working in TV production ever since. The last time I saw him was over 7 years ago, when I made a trip to LA to visit Jess.

We never had any high school reunions, so we haven't all gotten together in years.

That is, until tonight.

With the exception of Jess, who couldn't make it home for the holidays this year, we're all meeting tonight at our diner. Yep, OUR diner. The diner Kevin, Tom, Steve, and I spent many an evening downing cup after cup of coffee and stimulating our senses with interesting (and sometimes extremely wierd and/or disturbing, and occasionally mundane) conversation.

Steve B wrote me the beginning of this month to tell me he'd be home for about 2 weeks and asked if I could get everyone together. I immediately emailed everyone, and VOILA! We've got ourselves our own little reunion.

I'm so excited to see everyone again.

Favorite 2007 Christmas/Holiday Memories.

After the fiasco with my dad at my sister's house on the 23rd, the rest of the supper was a little walking-on-eggshells-like. EVERYONE was trying not to disagree or get my dad angry again. Easier said than done. He'll fight you tooth and nail when you say "the sky is blue" and he KNOWS it's actually green.

So we're all sitting and talking, and my dad raises his voice yet again about something that actually has nothing to do with the topic at hand (surprise, surprise). He's going on and on, and everyone else is just sitting there waiting for it to all be over. Suddenly Ellie pipes up and says, "Be quiet". Luckily, Dad didn't hear it. But Mom, myself, and my niece, Jes, sure did. And we laughed ourselves silly.

That's my favorite memory from this Christmas.

These are a few of my favorite things...

I didn't really need anything this year, so I told Harry not to go overboard and just get me one thing from him and one from Ellie.

I'm so glad I told him this.

Because of these guidelines (along with not spending over $30 on either gift), he really put some thought into what to get me.

I opened Ellie's present first and proceeded to cry big sopping tears for 10 minutes. I collect these beautiful figurines called Willow Tree. I have one we got for our engagement, one for our wedding, one for fertility when we were trying to conceive Ellie, one for pregnancy, and one for when Ellie was born. Ellie's gift added to my collection...



It's called "Child of my Heart". My crying made Harry cry. It's just so beautiful.

From Harry, I got this...



I am a huge Gaiman fan, and this JUST came out. I am SO excited to read it.

He did good this year. REAL good.

A new adventure

Co-sleeping.

Last night around 5:30pm, Ellie did something she hasn't done in months. She fell asleep. 2 hours before her bed time. Before she had dinner. And she was resting on Harry.

We let her snooze for 15 minutes or so till dinner was ready. When she woke up, her cheeks felt hot. We checked her temp... normal. So we went about our nightly routine, playing, bath, milk, brush teeth, bed. She seemed OK, just tired.

Around 2am, she woke up crying. The minute I picked her up, I felt the heat coming off her. We checked her temp... 101.3 (rectal). Not too high but enough so she was obviously uncomfortable. Nothing else wrong with her so I'm thinking it's that molar doing its final push through. Poor baby.

So we gave her some Tylenol and teething tablets, and Harry walked her for a few minutes. She fell back asleep quickly.

1/2 an hour later, and she's crying again. Harry goes back in to get her. She's not hot anymore, so that's good. She just wants to be held. Harry sits on the sofa with her and lets her snooze on him for a little while. He tries to put her back in the crib, but she immediately wakes up and starts crying again.

So I told him to bring her into bed with us. And she sleeps peacefully and soundly for the rest of the night.

I, on the other hand, sleep with one eye open, praying the cat doesn't accidentally jump on her. I should have, obviously, kicked the cat out of the room and closed the door, but, well, it was like 3 in the morning. Not at my all-time awareness level at that hour.

I'm a little groggy this morning, but Miss Ellie seems OK. No fever and she ate a good breakfast.

And I must admit, even though I didn't really get a good nights sleep, I liked having her there with us.

We don't plan on making this a habit, but when she's sick, she's more than welcome to cuddle with us through the night.

Photo Challenge: Holidays Past -- Me as a Child

This is Christmas 1978. I was about one and a half years old (Ellie looks A LOT like me as a kid). Pictured with me is my older sister, Debby (holding me), and my paternal grandparents whom I called Nana and Pop. I love this picture. Nana and Pop practically raised me. I spent every single day at their house until I was 12 when I was allowed to stay home alone. At the age of 20, I moved into the house next door to them.

Nana passed away June 2002, and Pop followed her Thanksgiving 2004. I miss them so much. They never got to meet my daughter, which truly saddens me. I know she would have loved them as much as I did.

Sugar

It may be the culprit.

A few months ago, I cut sugar out of my coffee.

People noticed a difference in me. Not the way I looked but the way I acted. I was more calm and in more control. I wasn't stressed or frantic.

I didn't notice that the change in my personality coincided with the lack of sugar in my diet.

A few weeks ago, I decided to put a little sugar back onto my coffee. This was probably due to the fact that I started drinking it hot again (I drink cold coffee 3/4 of the year, and it's sweeter than hot coffee for some reason).

Do you see where I'm going?

After the heart to heart Sunday night, I had an epiphany.

Maybe it's the sugar.

Sure enough, it's been 3 days without the sugar, and I haven't snapped once. Not once.

My stress levels are way low again, and I can finally relax. The stress/pain in my back has even started to dissipate again.

Who would have thought 1/2 a teaspoon of sugar in my morning coffee would make me insane?

I just googled it, and sure enough, sugar DOES cause anger problems.

So I think the mystery is solved. No more sugar for me.

A MinneMom-like Journal

Another First

Ellie's got her first molar pushing through! She's handling it really well so far. It looks like it's almost completely broken through already. We'll see what it looks like tomorrow.

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Acceptance

Ellie's learned something new (or shown us she understands something new, I should say) the past two evenings. Last night, I exclaimed, "Bathtime!" Ellie proceeded to crawl like the dickens to her bedroom door, awaiting her chance to get nakey. We were like, 'Wow! She knows what bathtime is, and she's mighty excited." Tonight, she reinforced the fact that she does, indeed, know what bathtime is. I said, "Ellie, it's bathtime. Let's go." She up and WALKED all the way to her room and tried to turn the knob.

So why the acceptance title?

Well, as Harry opens her bedroom door to let Ellie in, he turns to me and says, "You've got to tell your Maya's Mom friends about this."

Wondercat was right; the last stage is acceptance. LOL.

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Half an US-day

Harry and I are taking half days tomorrow so we can go out to lunch together. After the talk on Sunday, I thought we needed a little alone-time. Harry had already asked for the half day a couple of weeks ago. I've been trying to figure out when to take my last half day left, so when I asked him today if he'd like me to take it so we could go out, he eagerly said "yes!"

I love my husband.

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We have my company holiday party Friday night. Mom will be staying at our house to listen for the baby (she'll be asleep by the time my mom gets here), so we get a little more us-time. Woo hoo.

My company has our annual holiday party at a beautiful country club right up the road from our office. The food is exquisite. THAT'S really the only reason to go. I already see these people 42.5 hours during the week; I don't really need to spend a Friday evening with them, too. Everyone else feels the same way, but, well, we just CAN'T pass up the food.

Oh, and there's a chance to win some bucks too. They choose 10 names out of a hat to receive anywhere from $50-250 (as an AMEX gift card). I haven't won yet, but I aim to this year.

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Lots more to write about in the next few days. Stay tuned. Same bat time, same bat channel.

A heart to heart

Harry and I talked last night. REALLY talked.

We have an odd relationship because, well, we don't fight. No yelling, no shouting, no name-calling, none of that. Neither of us are really prone to that. We disagree, we discuss, and if we can't come to a compromise, we agree to disagree (and eventually do what I want - LOL).

As I said the other day, I'm not the same and haven't been for a few weeks. Harry's noticed. He always notices when I'm off.

I've been WAY off. I snap at him for EVERYTHING.

I am a snapper by nature when someone doesn't listen to me or asks me a question for the fifth time. It aggrevates me and irks me to no end.

As I have become snappier in the last few weeks, Harry has become more and more forgetful. We're not sure which is actually causing which.

Last night, I'm snap, snap, snapping because he's asked yet again where something is. Then he comments to Ellie, "I don't think Mommy likes me anymore."

THIS is the crap I can't stand. When something is serious, Harry cracks a joke or laughs.

I walk away.

He sees me a minute later with my eyes closed breathing in and out slowly. He asks what I'm doing, and I tell him I'm trying to calm down. THAT makes him laugh, too. I tell him to go away.

After we put Ellie to bed, I go in our bedroom for a few minutes to get my thoughts together. I know we need to talk, and I don't want to be angry when we do. He's sitting out in the family room, waiting for me.

When I come out, I sit down and tell him we need to talk. He looks terrified.

I explain how I'm having a difficult time controlling my anger lately. We discussed this last week, but I explain a little deeper. And I apologize. And I ask for help.

We're both tearing up, and he's breathing a sigh of relief. He was afraid I wanted to leave him.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

I love Harry. I'm in love with Harry. I love having him as my husband, my friend, my partner in crime.

And I make that perfectly clear. We're SOOOO good together; I'd NEVER want to screw that up.

He admits to zoning out a lot lately, and he's not sure WHY he's doing it, either. Seems both of us have some things to work on.

I'm glad we talked. Glad, glad, glad.

This too shall pass, right?

Do they make a pill for that?

The last couple of weeks, I've been a completely different person. I hate it. I hate how I feel. I hate the things that spew forth from my mouth. I hate the way my brain has been working.

Ever since my sister got into two car accidents in as many weeks, I'm just not the same. The first one scared me; what if I lost her? Sure, I bitch about her all the time because of our living situation, but she IS my sister. What if she had gotten MORE hurt than she did? How would I have coped?

So when she got into the second accident, I went from shock to worry to anger in 3 seconds flat. I won't go into the details, but it was a VERY BAD ACCIDENT. One that could have been avoided. Hence where the anger came in.

And ever since then, I've been easily brought back to that anger, easily and quickly, for the stupidest things.

I hate it.

I hate that blood-boiling, seething-anger feeling. The one that completely overwelmes you because your husband didn't pick up his socks or your mother called while you were busy making dinner. Why get so angry over these things? Why see red because the TV is too loud or the water isn't boiling fast enough?

How do I get away from this? Is there a pill I can take? A course of yoga? Do I need to start anger management?

Why is it happening? Will it just go away as quickly as it came?

What do I need to do to fix me?

Does anyone have an answer?

The Holidays

So Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful this year. Why? Because we didn't go anywhere.

That's right; I got to have Thanksgiving at MY house. I didn't even get in the car that day. No need... nowhere to go!

Can you tell how giddy that made me?

We started the morning with a nice, long walk around our neighborhood, just Harry, Ellie (in stroller), and me. It was 65 degrees out! On Thanksgiving! The sun was shining, the foliage was in its prime, and there weren't really any cars on the road to boot (which is kind of fantastical and magical seeing as we live on one of the busiest streets in our city). In a word, it was... perfect.

Ellie took her nap around noon, and I started cooking around 1pm. I decided to just do a turkey breast seeing as it was only going to be 4 people.

Harry, Ellie, Alicia... you may be asking yourself, "Who's the 4th?"

My mother-in-law joined us for this festive occasion. And I don't lace that with any amount of sarcasm or rolling of the eyes, I swear.

It was actually NICE having her with us. She was actually PLEASANT. She had a great time playing with the baby, she didn't tell us we were wrong about... well... anything and everything like she usually does, she didn't pout, and she didn't pee in her pants. I was happily amazed.

So anyway, I started cooking at 1pm, and I was done by 3:45pm. Not too shabby.

We had turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, candied yams, mixed vegetables, homemade applesauce, cranberry sauce, and crescent rolls (a Thanksgiving staple in my family). For dessert I made Dirt (cut up devil's food cake with coffee poured over it, chocolate pudding, pieces of Heath candy bar, and whipped cream). It was all delicious!

We watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (the second time already this season), played with Ellie, and had an all-around good time.

And best of all, it was quiet. No screaming, no fighting, no hurt feelings. A first in my family's holiday repertoire.

Since Thanksgiving went so smoothly, we've decided to do the same Christmas afternoon. We always spend so much time house hopping during the holidays, and I'm kind of sick of it.

I've come to realize how important it is for Harry to bring his mom home for the holidays. It's taken me some time to see the error of my ways, always pushing her aside simply because I didn't like her. It's really not fair, to Harry OR to her. She deserves to see us, to spend time with Ellie, to simply not be in that nursing home for a few hours.

So we'll do Christmas Eve upstairs at my sisters and Christmas Breakfast at my mom's, as usual, but we're also going to settle in at our home for once and just enjoy the silence. This way we still get to see everyone, but we get what we want too.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will work.

It's all about Ellie

So we had a very nice long weekend, complete with a trip to see Santa yesterday.

Ellie actually liked Santa. Go figure. I was waiting for the wailing, and instead, we were pleasantly surprised with a smile from our little one. We got a great shot, too. It's on my profile (friends only, sorry).

She did a couple of really cute things this weekend, too, amidst the temper tantrums. Yeah, temper tantrums from a 1 year old. She's starting early. Luckily, they only last a minute or two.

The first cute thing happened at the grocery store on Saturday. We were walking up an aisle when we heard one of the courtesy phones ring. I looked over at Ellie to see her picking up an imaginary phone, bring it up to her ear, and go, "Yeah... [pause]... yeah... [pause]... yeah". She does this at home with her phone, mimicking Mommy while she's on the phone. This was the first time she completely "pretended" to be talking. It was just so cute.

Cute thing #2 happened last night. She was talking VERY loudly, so I put my finger up to my mouth and said, "Shhhhh". She mimicked this with the loudest "Shhhhh" ever. And she laughed the entire time she did it. She had me cracking up and rolling on the floor with that one. I asked Teri if she does it at daycare, and she told me she (Teri) does it to the dog but that Ellie hasn't mimicked it. So it's a new thing.

Other than that, I just really enjoyed being with my girl these last 4 days. She's just so much fun to be around.

We've also learned that she tries to get away with a lot more when the both of us are there. It's just something about both Mommy and Daddy being there that brings out the lil' devil in my child. Hmmmmm.

A very nice holiday

Yesterday was fantastic. Quiet, cozy, and stress-free. I think I could get used to this.

There were no family arguments, no telling Dad or my sister to stop swearing in front of the baby or forcing them to smoke outside after several protest by them, none of the crap my mom pulls, nothing. It was bliss.

I started cooking around 1pm and finished about 3:45pm. Not to bad. And it wasn't constant, either. I got to relax quite a bit yesterday afternoon. And everything came out perfect.

AND my MIL was actually tolerable yesterday. She was having one of her very good days. It was actually NICE having her there. She was interacting with Ellie all afternoon, and she wasn't doing her usual, "you're wrong" thing (according to my MIL, everyone is wrong about everything).

Harry said it was the best Thanksgiving he's ever had. I'm thinking along the same lines. I think we might be doing this from now on. Either that, or we'll start vacationing during this week. That would be nice, too.

We got it all done.

You read that right. We got ALL our Christmas shopping done yesterday.

Jealous?

Heh heh.

Now I can breathe a sigh of relief.

We managed to get some really nice stuff for everyone, even with the $1000 we just had to fork over for new tires for BOTH our cars and oil changes and such. Yeah, $1000 I hadn't budgeted for this month. Merry Christmas.

That money was supposed to go into our savings. I hate when stuff like that happens. I'm trying to build up enough savings for 10% down on a house. That $1000 would have really helped.

Not much I can do now. And I won't let it ruin the holidays. Stuff happens; you deal with it. Period.

So Christmas gifts. We got my mom a really nice painting for her house down in Florida. We got my dad this awesome zippered cardigan from LL Bean. I love this thing; I want it for myself. We got Harry's mom a cool pair of blue leather mocassin slippers. That's all she ever wants for the holidays. Hopefully these'll last a year. We got my youngest niece an Evanescence CD and the first season of Monk on DVD (she loves the show). We got two of my older sister's daughters new MP3 players, and we got my oldest niece a Tori Amos autobiography and a kickin' red fleece hoodie (which I want, too).

Harry's getting a new trailer hitch for both Christmas and his birthday, which is on New Year's Eve. He needs it for his dumb boat:) I also got him a rod holder for same dumb boat. That'll be from Ellie.

As for Little Miss Ellie, we got her a beautiful nap mat from HomeSlice's store, a xylophone, MegaBloks in a wagon, some clothes, a snowsuit, and the biggie... a kitchen center. There's one at daycare, and she loves it. She could open and close the cupboards on that thing all day. LOL.

So that's pretty much it. We don't do sister gifts, but I am giving them each a digital copy of our favorite Christmas record from when we were kids. They'll be thrilled. I'll give it to them sooner rather than later so they can listen to it the whole month of December.

I feel so free!

US-day today

Harry and I will be starting our day dining on fluffy pancakes at Chips, a local pancake house that has the best pancakes in CT. Mmmmmm. We're gonna do some Christmas shopping and maybe see a movie, too. AND we're gonna have lunch at Applebees because I have a nifty little gift card I received from Discover Card as my cash back bonus.

I'm so excited about our US-day. Yay!

US-day today

Harry and I will be starting our day dining on fluffy pancakes at Chips, a local pancake house that has the best pancakes in CT. Mmmmmm. We're gonna do some Christmas shopping and maybe see a movie, too. AND we're gonna have lunch at Applebees because I have a nifty little gift card I received from Discover Card as my cash back bonus.

I'm so excited about our US-day. Yay!

Thanking my lucky stars

So, Ellie had a cold last week. No biggie. Just a runny nose and sneezing mostly. She got through it in a few days.

Then a rather nasty cough reared its ugly head last Friday evening. Woke her up out of her sleep. And I heard her calling for me. First time that's ever happened. It brought me to tears.

She suffered all last weekend with this terrible cough. I did as the doc suggested during the last cold with cough and gave her the Triaminic strips and Benadryl. It didn't really seem to help. That damn cough was nasty.

All the kids at daycare were just getting over it, so I knew how bad it was. Two of them ended up with croup. I was dreading she's get there too.

Luckily she didn't. It went from a mean, deep, hacking cough to a regular cold, phlegmy cough on Monday. I thought she'd get better in a few days.

Wednesday, Teri noticed she was wheezing a bit. Not good. Yesterday morning, when I went to give her her cough medicine at daycare, I decided she NEEDED to see the doctor. Sure, there was no fever or loss of appetite through this whole thing, but the wheezing was definitely prominent yesterday morning. And luckily Teri works at the doctor's office, so they squeezed us in pretty quickly.

Luckily, there was no fluid in her lungs. The wheezing was simply her breathing through the phlegm in her throat.

BUT her ear infection from last months seems to have never really gone away. It's inflamed again, so she's on an antibiotic for that. The nurse practitioner who saw her also told me to STOP the cough medicine and Benadryl. So we had 2 doctors previous who said to use them, and now a nurse practitioner from the same office who told us not to. A little confusing, but I decided to give it a try.

After we left the doctor's office, we went to Target to get her prescription filled, and voila! Nothing like a little shopping to cure a little girl's illness. Stepping into the store was like magic. Her cough stopped, and she actually started smiling again. Ellie definitely takes after Mommy.

She's doing loads better today. We stopped cough meds and Benadryl, like I said, and went with the saline nose drops and vVc's baby rub instead. I also made a decision to not give her milk because I know how it makes MY cough so much worse when I'm sick. She drank juice all yesterday, and I noticed the difference right away. We'll do juice again today and then maybe start back on milk tomorrow. She'll get plenty of cheese and yogurt for calcium in the meantime.

I'm just so glad she's feeling better. I was so worried yesterday. So worried I even prayed, which I don't really do on a regular basis.

A day for me... maybe not.

So yesterday, I kept the promise to myself I made last month to take another me-day. I told Harry Tuesday night that I was gonna call in sick for Wednesday and just kinda veg at the house. I was all excited to catch up on some ER and maybe do a little shopping, too.

So, I call in yesterday morning, bring Ellie to daycare, come back home and shower, grab a cup of joe, and log on to MM to write my daily journal. At 9:30am, I hear a key being inserted into the door lock. What the hell?

Harry decided to take 1/2 a personal day.

Instead of being excited for the chance to spend some time with the hubby, I was a little bummed. I mean, I took the day off for ME. I had even told him I scheduled a day off next week for US cuz he has the whole week off. I made it clear that yesterday was a ME-day. He's got his own me-day coming up on Monday when he's going to the casino to blow some of our money.

So of course, I feel immediately guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but at the same time, I feel like I'm ready to cry because he ruined my day. God, I feel guilty even writing that, but it was exactly how I felt.

He saw how bummed I was and said he'd get lost for the day if I wanted. That made me feel even more guilty. He said he'd just go fishing or something, which is what he ended up doing.

So I still got the majority of the day to myself, but the guilt of wanting it kind of hung over me all day. It kinda wasn't worth using my sick day.

I guess next time I have to make it perfectly clear that a me-day really just involves... well... ME and ME alone.

Another first

Ellie took her first 2 steps on Wednesday! It was amazing. And we both got to witness it. She was sitting in between the two of us on the floor, stood up, and took two steps to Harry. We couldn't believe it.

Yesterday, Harry set up the video camera in the corner and got about 6 minutes worth of footage of her walking. And when I came home, she took like 6 steps to me, grabbed me by the shirt, and walked me to her room.

She's gonna be arunnin' in no time flat.

One for the books...

Guess who took her first TWO unassisted steps last night? Yay! And what's even better... both Harry and I were there to witness it.

Our little girl's growing up!

Ellie's One-Year Checkup

So the doc says Ellie is doing very well. She weighs in at 21.5 lbs (60th %ile) and measures 30.5 in (80th %ile). She's gained almost 2 lbs and grown over 2 inches since August. Amazing.

She's right on target where motor skills are concerned, and above average in the cognitive area. She understands most everything said to her, even to a degree where she can respond and act, if need be. Example: 2 nights ago, she was playing with her socks and decided to hide one of them, unbeknownst to me. About 1/2 an hour later, I was cleaning up and only had the one sock. So I playfully asked Ellie, "Where's your other sock?" Not only did she remember she took it and hid it, but she remembered WHERE she hid it and proceeded to go get it and hand it to me. I was speechless.

She's talking and singing and dancing, which the doc was also impressed with. As she's shakin' it and singing for the doc, the doc says, "You must have listened to a lot of music while she was in-utero." Yes, yes I did. Music is important to me, so I wanted to get a head start with the babe. Looks like it worked.

She got her second polio shot (I believe we're done with that one now), the chicken pox vaccination, and her first of 2 flu shots (our office likes to break up the vax into 2, one month apart). She got through it like a trooper. She didn't even cry for the first one. That's my girl.

What’s new with Ellie?

Well, she celebrated her first Halloween for starters. She went as Wonder Woman. Yeah, she rocks.

And she turned 1 last Thursday. Holy crap! A whole year gone by. Crazy.

I threw her a big birthday breakfast bash Thursday morning at daycare. The kids had a great time. We noshed on bagels with cream cheese, doughnuts, homemade pumpkin bread, fruit salad, hot chocolate, and homemade banana cupcakes. It was a blast.

We had her family party on Saturday during a freakin’ hurricane warning. She had a fantastic time. She loved all the attention. And she didn’t even get scared of my dad like she normally does. She was all smiles.

She did well with the time change, too. We’d been preparing her a couple weeks prior, slowly moving her bed time a little later each day. In turn, she started waking up later. She’s good to go now. And I don’t have to get up at 5am like I was dreading.

She’s also not only completely transitioned to milk but to sippy cups as well. She said goodbye to the bottle for good this weekend. All these changes, and she just rolls with it. I love it.

She’s fighting off yet another cold. This kid is gonna have a kick-ass immune system when she gets older.

She’s going to her one-year exam tomorrow. She’s gotta get some shots – NOT happy about that. Never happy about that. I think after that we’re good until 18 months. We’re both sick of the docs office, no offense to the actual wonderful doctors there. They’ve been terrific.

That wraps up this week. I’m sure I’ll have lots more to write about in the coming ones.

Note: Semd me an email if you'd like to see some new pics of my girl. I'm not posting them for public viewing anymore, but I'd be happy to share with friends:)

We survived the hurricane!

It wasn't even that bad. We've had worse thunderstorms here in CT. A tiny bit of rain and some wind ain't gonna slow us down. We've had winters with 108 inches of snow!

The party was great, and Ellie's got a TON of clothes. My mom did it again and bought not one but TWO dresses for Christmas. I know I should appreciate it, but she's gone out and bought the outfits for EVERY SINGLE DRESS-UP HOLIDAY since Ellie was born. When do WE get to pick these cute items out, ya know? One of them's going back cuz it looks like a freakin' Christmas present. No thank you. My girl doesn't do frilly. She doesn't dig crinoline.

She was in such a good mood all day, and she loved all the attention. Everyone was so loud; I thought she was gonna freak. She just rolled with it.

Harry's working all weekend, a new thing for us. He gets double time today. That should be some good Christmas cash.

We ordered the gifts for the nieces last night, so that's out of the way. I want to get all the shopping done before Thanksgiving. I'm actually starting late this year. Last year, we started back in May!

Ellie did well with the time change early this morning. I did prep her by moving her bed time later and later the passed couple of weeks. I think it actually worked, knock on wood. If her coughing hadn't woken her up this morning, I'm sure she would have slept even later. One of the kids at daycare started preschool in September and has proceeded to not only get sick over and over again but give Ellie every single illness he's caught to boot. That's where the cold in Sept. and the pink eye in Oct. came from. I think I heard his mom say he might have broncitis now. GREEEEEAAAAAAT. We're going to the docs on Tuesday for Ellie's one-year-check-up, so the doc can take a listen to her lungs to make sure she's OK. I don't hear any fluid myself, so that's a good sign.

We're gonna hit the stores this morning; me and my girl love to shop. Talk to everyone later:)

Hurricane Noel

Leave it to me to be the only one NOT to know we're getting hit with the remnants of a hurricane today. Where the hell have I been?

We're expecting winds around 60mph (possibly up to 80mph) and rain. It's no where near the intensity of Hurricane Gloria, which hit us in the 80s and brought down trees everywhere, including one in our back yard.

The grocery store was INSANE this morning. I haven't seen the lines that long in awhile. Luckily we scored a new lane opening up when we were ready to check out. Woo hoo. I think the baby charmed them into opening the lane just for her.

She's napping right now, getting the rest she needs for the excitement that will follow her awakening. Ellie loves a good party. Especially one just for her.

I guess we'll remember Hurricane Noel like we do Gloria because of the importance of the day itself. We'll be able to tell Ellie Noel hit on her first birthday party.

The Rest of Ellie's 1st Birthday Day

So she scored some really cool stuff from the kids at daycare: a plastic guitar that plays some cute riffs when the buttons are pushed, a cutsie cutsie homemade fleece dress with kitties on it (can't wait for her to wear it!), some bows for her hair, and a stuffed Minnie Mouse. Teri, her daycare provider, bought her a kickin' aqua blue velour sweatsuit, a longsleeve onesie that says "It's all about Me, Me, ME!" with purple pants to go with, and a funny little plastic bunny that talks and plays music. Most parents moan and groan about these noisy toys, but I absolutely love them. They teach her ABCs and 123s and she really gets her groove on to all the music. Makes a Momma proud.

When she got home from daycare, I was waitin' at the door with her gifts from us. She was VERY excited to see Mommy already home since I usually don't walk in the door till 5:15pm. And she was just as excited to see the gift bag. She got some wooden blocks (the girl loves building stuff) and a big wooden cube to shoot different shaped pegs through. And another Pillow Person. She got some clothes, too, which she could really care less about. And her new arm chair she got last week was also part of the B-day gifts, but there was no way to hide that sucker so she got it upon purchase. We tried not to go too overboard; a few toys goes a long way with our girl.

My niece joined us for Birthday dinner (baked ziti w/ turkey meatballs - YUM) and Birthday cupcakes. We got video of us singing "Happy Birthday" to Miss Ellie AGAIN (it's her new favorite song) and video of her licking the whipped cream off her birthday cupcake.

We went straight from the high chair to the bath; Ellie had sauce and crumbs EVERYWHERE! We played with her new toys for awhile, and then my little girl decided she was DONE for the night nearly an hour before she's usually been going to bed. Guess it was a really full day!

She slept for 12 hours last night. That's one tired baby.

All in all, it was a wonderful day. I'm so lucky to have her in my life. I teared up yesterday morning when I got her out of her crib; I couldn't help it. I was telling her happy birthday and how much I love her, and I was just overwelmed with emotion. This little person is the most amazing thing I've even done, ya know? I'm so lucky.

Ellie's Big Birthday Breakfast Bash

Ellie turned one-year-old today! Yeah, officially, it's not until 9:02pm, but she'll be fast asleep by then.

We started off the day with a birthday breakfast at daycare. I brought doughnuts, homemade pumpkin bread, mini bagels with cream cheese, and tropical fruit cocktail for the kiddies to feast on. And feast they did! Dude, those kids can eat! And talk!

And for dessert... banana cupcakes with whipped cream frosting and no sugar added hot chocolate (I was trying to keep the sugar to a minimum so the kids weren't bouncing off the walls for poor Teri after I left).

Ellie had her first cupcake, and we let her go at it with both hands. She was one happy baby.

More to come...

It's the day before Halloween and I'm...

Frazzled! Not only do I have to prepare for the Halloween festivities, but I've got Ellie's 1st Birthday the very next day. I have tons of baking to do for both! I've been running around like a mad-woman on my lunch break, going to 3 different stores because some had some of the stuff I needed but not one had ALL. Grrrrr. What happened to one-stop shopping? On top of that, I went to get Ellie's winter coat cuz it turned mighty cold this week, and I found that it's way too big! So I had to go buy another winter coat for her to use the next couple of months. Add in a pumpkin-carving contest at work tomorrow (I have no carved pumpkin to submit yet cuz the one I did yesterday sucked ass!) and the mini-party Thursday morning at daycare, and I'm now officially a lunatic, trying to be SuperMommy AND work a full work week.

It'll all work out. I need to chill! As my niece use to say, "Take a chill pill!"

Another Interview!

Courtesy of my gal, Homeslice.

1. Being a working mommy can be challenging. What do you do during the hours you are away from your family? Was it a conscious choice to work?

I am a historical researcher at an environmental data company. Say that five times fast. I study fire insurance maps depicting properties, what they’re made of, what they’re used for, etc. from the years 1867-1996 all over the U.S. It’s a pretty interesting job. I’ve been with the company for 5.5 years now. I was promoted to assistant team leader for my group about 2 years ago.

I was planning on being a SAHM. I really was. 6 weeks into my maternity leave changed all that. We just didn’t have enough money. And, I’ll admit, I wasn’t very good at BEING a SAHM. It’s still difficult to say that, but it’s true. And to be even more honest, she’s much better off in daycare. She absolutely loves it… Teri (her provider), the other kids, the toys, the swings outside, the trips to the library, I could go on and on… she thrives on it. I’m amazed at how much she has already learned just by being in that environment.

Another plus is that she may never have another sibling, so this group of lovely children are a great alternative. We’re still not sure if we’re going to try for child #2. Part of it is “are we capable of raising a second child?”; part of it is “do we want to go through the let downs of trying to conceive and failing month after month all over again?” I don’t know if I can go a second round of that.

2. What has changed in you the most since becoming a mother?

I can now think on a child’s level. Even AS a child, I had a hard time doing this. I was the oldest little girl in the world. I loved being with adults. Sure, I played with my friends… Barbies, let’s pretend, tag, etc… like any other kid, but I felt most comfortable at the grown-up table.

Ellie has brought the kid out in me. I love to build stuff with her. I love to growl with her. I love to get down on the floor and play paddy cake for hours on end. I never knew being a kid could be so much fun.

3. List your favorite thing about yourself and the thing you least like about yourself.

I love that I can care so much about people. Sure, there are those who irk me to no end, but I pretty much care for everyone I come into contact with to some degree. I care about their well-being, their feelings, and their ideas. I care for them simply because we’re all people, so we SHOULD care, ya know?

I least like the fact that my feelings get hurt so easily. I dislike the fact that it matters what people think of me. I wish I could just let it go. I wish the tears didn’t come so easily. I wish I had a thicker skin.

4. How did you meet your husband? What’s your relationship like today?

I met my husband through my ex-sister-in-law. HA! I knew that first marriage was good for SOMETHING! (I also got an amazingly good friend out of it, too, in the form of said ex-SIL. Kim rocks:) We actually went to high school together, but we didn’t know each other then. Small world and all that.

Harry and I are best friends, lovers, parents, fellow couch potatoes, shopoholics, and all-around partners-in-crime. There’s no one I’d rather spend a night with, vegging on the sofa in grubby PJs, watching bad 80s flix. Awwwww.

*********************************************************

Now it’s your turn. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you some questions. I get to pick the questions. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them questions.

What my daughter has taught me

Patience - Patience has always been a virtue which I sorely lacked. I was the most impatient person I knew:) Ellie has coaxed and coached me into being an extremely Mellow Mom, and I thank her dearly for it. I've been able to integrate that feeling of "letting it all go" into my every day life. It's wonderful. Now I'M the one who tells others to take it easy.

Take time to play - B.E. (Before Ellie) everything was work, work, work. I have to do this, I have to do that. This HAS to be done now. It CAN'T wait. My life is no longer like that. The laundry has piled up, the kitchen is a mess, the bed needs to be made... all that can WAIT. After dinner, it's playtime. I get down on the ground with Ellie, and we just play. I had forgotten how to do it. I had forgotten what it felt like. It's a de-stresser for sure. And it's like a second childhood. Good times.

Laugh - I love humor. It's what's gotten me through the worst of times. I laugh easily. Ellie has taken this to an all-new level. She's my little comedienne. She feels it's her mission to make me laugh, and I'm happy to oblige.

Physical contact is OK - I'm not a huggy kind of person when it comes to other females. My mom never hugged me, my sisters and I never hugged, and I never initiated hugs with my female friends. I always felt awkward. Ellie has cured me of this. I can't get enough cuddle time with my girl. She curves to my body, and it's like we're one person once again. It's the best therapy ever.

There's so much more I can learn from her, and I plan on paying close attention. I don't want to miss one small lesson at the School of Ellie. She's the best teacher I've ever had.

I believe it's after midnight in the UK, so...

Happy Birthday, John! Have a kick ass day!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y

We went to Aspetuck Apple Orchard here in CT today, and we went all out. We got pumpkins, apples, peanut brittle, cider, and the best damn apple doughnuts I have ever had. The weather was beautious (low 60s) with a crisp, Autumn breeze playfully caressing our hair and faces. Ellie enjoyed herself, eating her first apple off the core.

We finally got another family foto; one of the ladies working there was kind enough to help us in that department.

Ellie was a bit cranky yesterday and this morning before our little excursion, but we chalked it up to a molar that's slowly making its way through her gum. But when Ellie awoke from her afternoon nap, we found out the real culprit to blame for her unhappiness... an extremely itchy and puffy right eye. THEN it dawned on me - PINK EYE. Ugh.

I remembered Teri (her daycare provider) had mentioned one of the other kids had been sick during the week, and they thought he possibly had pink eye. So I called her up to confirm, and, yep, poor little boys' got it. And now my poor little girl does, too. She's had it once before, so we know what to expect. But she's a lot older now, and she rubs her eyes like crazy. These next 3 or 4 days are NOT going to be fun.

My poor baby. Hopefully it'll start to clear up soon since we caught it so quickly. We called the doc to make sure we could give her the drops (he gave us the thumbs up), and now we just have to wait. Oh, and struggle with giving an 11 month old eye drops 4 times a day.

It was looking to be such a good day, too. That'll teach me to joke about my mom's cold.

Karma's a bitch sometimes:)

Never knew there'd be days like this

I love being a working mom. I really do. I love the "me" time I get at the office. I sit in my cube in the corner, tucked away from the rest of the world, listening to music, sipping my coffee, jamming away at my workload contentedly, and occasionally popping into MM for my daily fix of stimulating conversation. There are days when it is my salvation.

And then there are days like today when I miss Ellie so much it hurts. Days like today when I stare at her picture on my wall instead of my computer screen. I get a lump in my throat and a pain in my chest from wanting her with me right here, right now.

I never knew these little people we create could really tug on our heartstrings like this.

This was what my life was missing. And to think there was a time when I didn't want to have children.

Just a few hours more, and I'll be home with her again. The weekend can't come soon enough.

When the word "provider" takes on a whole new meaning

There are days when I seriously consider moving us away from all this, to another state, and another state of mind. Not even our jobs factor into not going; there are always other jobs.

No, the main reason why I push these thoughts away is because we'll never find someone like Teri to watch Ellie during the day. With all the horror stories you hear and read about daycare, our provider is worth all the bullshit of our every day lives. We are just so damn lucky.

We're brainstorming on a Christmas/End of the Year gift for her. How do you show someone who was a complete stranger 10 months ago that she's now part of our family?

I thank my lucky stars for finding her. She rocks.

8 so far

Colds, that is. Yes, I've had 8 colds this year, as has Ellie. It's that new mommy/daycare thing. I managed to skip one of hers in May, and, knock on wood, she's been lucky enough to miss the one I've got right now. A new little girl at daycare brought a cold with her the first day, and it somehow jumped right through Ellie and sneezed itself all over me. Ugh. Better me than Ellie, though.

My immune system is shot this year. I was a 2-colds-a-year kid and a 1-cold-a-year adult. I'm always around sick people at the office, and I don't catch everything there. With Ellie, it's a different story, most likely because she likes to stick her fingers in my mouth and luckily for me, my coworkers are kind enough not to do that. You know, proper work etiquette and all.

So far, I've been sick about 70 days of the 275 days of this year so far. What gives? Is this really normal? I'm wondering if my low iron count has anything to do with it.

Ugh, I say. Double ugh. Make it go away.

Weekend Wrap-up

Ellie and I spent Saturday morning together, doing what girls do best... shopping! We went to the grocery store super early (around 8 am) because we found NOBODY is really there except other mommy's with small babies. We like that just fine. We had almost the whole place to ourselves. The only con... no baggers. Eh, I'm pretty quick at it, and Ellie got a kick out of watching me work.

After her morning snooze, we headed on over to the shoe store to get my girl a new pair of kicks. She JUST started wearing shoes this week since the weather turned (of course, it turned again this weekend; it was hot and humid - icky!) I decided to go to Payless because they do actually make some decent kids shoes (I used to work there eons ago, so I know these things:) With their new Airwalks and Champions lines, I knew I'd find something. I was actually hoping to get her walking shoes, but, alas, the girl there said they hadn't been sent any in months (we checked the other Payless in town today and they had them; man, are those shoes fugly!) I ended up finding a pair of Champion sneakers with thin, flexible soles. The shoes are made out of leather, they have velcro straps, AND they're wide-width (poor baby inherited Mommy's Flintstone feet, unfortunately). The price tag said $14.99; I can handle that. So we get to the register, and... woo-hoo! They ring up for $4! I love a bargain.

When Harry got home, we ventured out to this little toy store that specializes in toys made locally. We picked up some great wooden toys guaranteed non-toxic (very old school) and a Lambchop puppet. Yes, Lambchop! "This is the song that never ends" Lambchop. Ellie loves puppets, and I just had to get it for her.

We went to one of the Halloween stores, too, looking for the Wonder Woman costume we want to get for Ellie that's been on backorder. No deal. Sadness.

Last night, after Ellie went to bed, I decided to do a little online investigation, hoping I'd find the WW costume somewhere else. And I DID! We should have it in 6-10 days. Now I just have to make a costume for myself. I'm a big kid like that; I love Halloween. I dress up just to give out candy. The kids in the neighborhood get a real kick out of it.

Today, we did a Home Depot run, and we hit the other Payless in town, like I mentioned. I got Ellie another pair of sneaks for $5. So we should be good for a few months unless she has a massive growth spurt.

We finally got around to putting all of our video tapes of Ellie onto DVDs today, too. I've been watching all evening, getting all teary-eyed. I popped one in for Ellie, and that girl was completely glued to the TV. She was thrilled and amazed. She was laughing at herself whenever TV Ellie stared into the camera, and she clapped for TV Ellie when she did something clever. So freakin' cute.

We ended the evening with some comfort food... Salisbury steak, mashed baby red potatoes, and peas. Mmmmm. It came out delic, if I do say so myself. Harry talked me into making meatloaf next weekend (yuck - I hate meatloaf!) What have I gotten myself into?

That's all for tonight.

I'm a bad, BAD blogger!

I've been so busy reading things on Maya's Mom (the "where parents share" forum I joined a few months ago and have become extremely addicted to) that I haven't set aside time to keep up with blogging. What's worse, I actually have a journal on there, and I update that a few times a week. For shame!

Things are going well. I got to hang out with Jess and Lea last weekend for some coffee talk. Joyous! Had an absolutely wonderful time. Ellie's getting ready to turn 11 months old next week. Good Lord! We're getting ready for the big ONE! We're gonna have a little party the weekend after she turns one, mostly family and maybe a friend or two.

We're gonna be shopping later on today for new kicks for the babe (she's gonna be a-walkin' any day now, I think), some toys for the b-day, and maybe a few more pieces of fall clothing. I LOVE shopping for her, so much more than shopping for myself. At least with her, every FITS and looks oh-so-cute. Not so much when I'm looking to clothe my own strange after-baby body. Grumble grumble.

And speaking of after-baby body, this woman needs to get into shape, as does the hubby. We decided to invest in a Total Gym for the house, and it should be here in the next week or two. It's time to shed some of this weight, damnit!

That's about all right now. Ellie just woke up from her nap. She's patiently talking to herself until I go get her.

In the now

So everyone's been reminiscing today about past loves, myself joining in the conversation here and there. It was nice to know that I am definitely not alone in that category. We all seem to have a story.

But I've realized that I am done with the past. I've gotten my closure. It feels good. I feel healthy.

So instead I'd like to talk about the now.

My husband, Harry.

I love this man with every inch of my being. He is amazing in so many ways, and he makes every day of my life better than the one before. He's my best friend, my confidante, my partner in crime. He's the one person (besides Ellie, of course) I WANT to see every day. He's my couch potato bud, my walking mate, my shop-til-you-drop helper.

And he cooks, cleans, vacuums, and does laundry, too.

He makes the most delicious pepperoni bread I've ever tasted, and he'll run out to Dairy Queen for me whenever I get a craving. He's a hard worker and takes pride in what he does. He's handy with a hammer and can landscape like nobody's business.

And he's a fantastic lay. Heh heh.

I don't know what I'd do without this man. I don't know what I did to DESERVE this man.

Friend, husband, lover, father... he's good at it all.

Me and the girls

My friend, Jess, came back to CT this weekend for a wedding... and some coffee talk. We've known each other for 20 years now; THAT blows my mind. How did 20 years go by that quickly? Weren't we just playing Barbies at her house and taking walks to the local WaWa's to feast on Nerds and FijiFruits? Weren't we just at Saturday catechism class, racing home to watch Dr. Fad? Weren't we swooning over the 2 Corey's and listening to Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet?" (Ok, I still listen to that, but now find the 2 Coreys extremely lame).

Lea was also with us for coffee talk. I've known Lea even longer, possibly 25 years. I can't exactly remember the first time we met. Maybe kindergarten? Yeah, that long. Crazy. She's still living here in CT, and I get to see her maybe once every 2 months now that I've had Ellie. Before I got pregnant, we made it a point to get together every month. We talk about work, our marriage, taxes, a new bar or restaurant we've been to, you name it. She's my hometown girl:)

Here we are, me and my girls:


Me and Jess


Lea and Jess


Lea and Me

Who knows when we'll all get together again? I cherish these times, knowing that they come along so seldom.

Three things I want to remember about Ellie

The first time I got to hold her in the hospital.
I ended up having a C-section, so I didn't actually get to hold her until about 3 hours after she was born. Once she was put into my arms to nurse, I was hooked. She was so tiny, but her eyes were already so unbelievably large and wide-open. We looked at each other, soaking each other in, until she fell asleep.

Playing the "oh" game.
At 5 weeks, Ellie started repeating the sound "oh" after I said it. It was a game to her. We'd do this for 5 minutes at at time. We even got it on video. Not only was it so cute, but it was also when she started to officially smile. Two for the price of one! And even more, she loved an audience. Everyone got to hear her play her special game.

Our time at the ER.
Why in the world would I want to remember something so horrible, you may ask? It was the first time I really went into Mom-mode. Ellie had her first cold at 2 and a 1/2 months, and it got really bad. So bad the doc told us to go to Yale New Haven Childrens' Hospital immediately. Ellie was mis-diagnosed with pneumonia that night. I, fighting off the same cold she had, never left her side. My husband and I slept on the floor of her room, and I checked on her every 15 minutes that entire horrendous night. We were told the next morning that someone had made an error reading her x-ray, and she was good to go home. We couldn't have gotten out of there faster! But I will remember it... for the rest of my life.

There will be many more things to remember in the future, and I look forward to them all. This is the greatest adventure I've ever been on, and I don't want to miss a thing.

Where were you?

Today is a day of rememberance. Today is a day to be thankful for the things you have. Today is a day to voice your hopes, your wishes, your dreams… for yourself, your family, your friends, your fellow man, for this country, for this world.

On September 11, 2001, I was at a turning point in my life. I had just started dating my now-husband. I had a full-time job. I was enrolled in the Fall semester at my college. Things were moving along.

I was at work that morning, sitting at my desk, talking to my friend, Kim. We both got in at 8:30am and usually chatted before the day’s rush of work came in. We were talking about nothing special, possibly the Labor Day weekend that had just past, plans for her birthday, which was in the next few weeks, where my new relationship was going, seeing as I was dating her former roommate. You know, the usual blah blah blah.

We had been chatting for awhile when all of a sudden, Kim said, “You won’t believe this. We’re listening to the radio, and it was just reported that a plane hit one of the Towers.”

My response, “Are you kidding? Don’t they have people that monitor plane activity? How did that happen?”

There wasn’t anything else in the broadcast, so we resumed our mundane and inane conversation.

15 minutes later, and Kim stopped in midsentence. “Another plane just hit the other Tower.”

Both of us were silent. She was listening to the broadcast; I was waiting for her to report what it said.

I got one of those bad chills down my spine and that metallic taste in my mouth.

“Oh my God, one of the Towers collapsed.”

“Oh my God, the other Tower collapsed.”

And the world changed.

She had to immediately get off the phone and call everyone she knew in New York working at the Towers. She works in Finance, so she knew quite a few people.

And I sat in silence in my office with no windows, no internet, no radio, no television, no link to the outside world but my office phone.

The phone rang, and it was Harry. “Have you heard what’s going on?”

Work came to a screeching halt. Radios were found in the office and tuned in. People called their family and friends to make sure they were safe. We were only a short hour and 15 minute train ride to the city; it felt like it was going on right in our backyard.

Around 2pm, they sent us all home to be with our families. We all left in silence, trying not to run to our cars and get home as soon as possible to our loved ones.

I found Harry after seeing my parents, sister, and niece. He was at his local bar, drunk but somber. He was let out of work early too, but because he doesn’t really have any family, he went to his surrogate family instead… his bar friends.

We all sat and drank, but the bar was eerily quiet for a change. The TV was tuned into CNN instead of one of the games, and every head was turned to watch it.

The day ended with tears and fears. Questions. Hypotheses. Anger. Loss. Confusion.

6 years later, and all of that is still here.

We felt the blow a month later still when the company Harry had worked for for 7 years closed down. They manufactured aerospace parts, and after the plane attacks, their biggest client canceled a million dollar order. For a small-town company, there’s no way to bounce back from that.

I was also laid off the end of that year (not due to the attacks, mind you).

We started 2002 unemployed, pretty much penniless, and scared.

We got through it.

And now, on this day of rememberance, I am thankful for all I have. I am thankful that I live in this country. I am thankful for my wonderful family. I am proud that we’re still standing. I’m also still scared about the future… mine, my child’s, my country’s, the world’s.

But I have hope. I’ll always have hope.

Bugging Out

We awoke this morning to the chirp… of a cricket! No, not outside the window but in our bathroom.

As the alarm went off this morning, I heard a high-pitched sound. I thought it was coming from the fan in our room. I was like, “Damn, the fan finally kicked the bucket. It was a good little fan. It served its purpose.”

Then 10 minutes later when Harry came to get me up for the day and turned the fan off, the noise got even louder. What the hell? He proclaimed, “There’s a cricket stuck in the ceiling of the bathroom.” You’ve got to be kidding me!

As I walked toward the bathroom, the sound amplified even more. Once I got in there, it bounced and echoed off the walls creating a nerve-racking racket. Damn cricket! We bumped every ceiling tile in the area of the sound, but out little friend just kept on rubbing those legs together.

A few minutes later, I kicked the baby’s tub on the floor getting ready for my shower, and voila! The noise stopped. Harry came running to the door. “Where is it?”

“Under the baby’s tub. Check!”

He picked up the tub. No cricket. Hmmmm.

We look around. Nothing. Nada.

Harry spies the scale next to the baby’s tub and decides to check under it. AHA! Hello little cricket. There you are!

And before I can find something to scoop him up with to bring him outside, Harry crushes him with his heel. Poor little cricket! You were loud, obnoxious, and annoying, sure, but I wouldn’t have crushed you. Sad.

Of course, once the noise stopped, the poor cat danced a jig. She must have been bugging out all night because of the noise. Who knows? Maybe the cricket was actually hiding under the scale from the cat. She is a formidable hunter when it comes to insects. She loves the chase.

RIP Jiminy.

Sunday is Funday!

We had a great day today. We all got up together and had a delicious waffle breakfast, and no, not Eggos; waffles made in a good ole waffle maker. Ellie absolutely loved them! She ate a whole waffle herself! I made another batch for her and Harry to have for breakfast during the week, too.

After playtime and naptime, we ventured out to the grocery store like we do every weekend. Ellie decided today would be greet-day at Stop and Shop. She waved to every person she could make eye contact with in the store today. She made everybody's day. She waved to a teenaged girl as we were going down an aisle, and when we saw the girl again, this time with her mom, we heard her say, "There's the baby. Look at how big her eyes are!", which is one of three things we always hear about our daughter, the other two being, "Look at all the hair she has" and "What a happy baby". I never tire of hearing that one:)

We got home, and Ellie feasted on a lunch of applesauce and an English muffin. She's becoming quite the Big-Girl now, and she's turning down the baby food to make way for Big-People food. We've been trying to accommodate this newfound Big-Girl attitude, and I've even gone so far as to buy a baby cookbook that our pediatrician recommended. Should be here sometime next week. Then I can wow my 10-month-old with my culinary skills, heh heh.

My mom and niece came by for a visit this afternoon, too, which always puts Ellie in "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" mode. She's a little show-off. I love it.

After her second nap, she got to play with her new Pillow Person. Yes, they are making the Pillow People again. Pillow People were one of the toys both myself and my husband coveted as a child but never got. We were talking about them last month, saying we'd love to get one for Ellie. After searching the web, we only found used ones on Ebay. We passed on those. Then, voila! We find new ones at the store yesterday. We couldn't believe our luck. And only $13!

So we give her the Pillow Person (P.J. Sandman, for those of you wondering), and she smiles ear to ear. She loves stuff with faces on it. She then puts it on the floor and lays her head on it. Mind you, she's never had a pillow before, but she knows EXACTLY what to do with it. She must see the kids at daycare taking their naps, using their pillows. That's the only explanation I have for her knowing what a pillow is used for. Then she decides she wants to fall and flop on it. Over and over again. It's so cute! So, of course, like any good mommy, I get down on the floor and rest my head on her pillow, which makes her absolutely squeal with delight. She lays her head down next to mine and cuddles with me. Heaven, I tell you.

Then she becomes Ellie-Monster, which is a new game we decided to make up today. Basically she gets to crawl all over me while she roars. Gotta love it. We had to stop the game when she started pulling on my hair.

We then went on to bed-time, which isn't what it sounds like. About 15 minutes before the 3 B's (bath, bottle, bed), we've started taking Ellie into our room to roll around on our big, fat, king-sized bed. We get on there with her, blocking off the edges, and let her have a ball. So I'm curved around the side and foot of the bed, and Ellie's right there next to me. So I say to her, "Are you gonna get Mommy's pillow?" because I had put my head on hers before, and wouldn't you know it; she crawled right over to my pillow and put her head down. Surprised the hell out of me. She's learning SO quickly.

All in all, it was a very fun-filled day. I wish the weekend wasn't over. I could use an extra day with the Ellie-Monster; she always makes me laugh. My little comedienne.

Lookin' good

All my sister's tests came back. Everything looks good.

I say a little prayer for you

My older sister, D, could really use some positive vibes sent her way. Whether you know me or not, she could really use your help. Whether you pray or meditate or wish on a falling star, please please please do it for her. Thanks.

'Tis NOT the season

Season for colds, that is. Yet poor little Ellie has one. The 7th cold this year. I was so hoping she'd get through the entire summer without one. Alas, no dice.

She's been cold-free since the beginning of June. It's been wonderful. And then little Alex came back from vacation or camp or wherever he was, and I hear the sniffle and the cough. And I think... GREEEEAAAAT. Ellie's gonna catch that. I give it 3 days.

And fast-forward 3 days. And yes, we have a runny nose. Yes, we have sneeze after sneeze. And yes, the cough started this afternoon.

My poor Sweetpea. She's such a trooper though. Not one complaint, even when I have to wipe her nose. And she usually hates that.

Luckily, she has an entire week at home with mommy to recuperate. Yay!

The Woes of Babes

So Ellie still has her cold (as do I), and now on top of it, she's teething. And not just any ole teething. 4 teeth are breaking through up top at the same time! That's right, 4! The pain must be atrocious. She was so upset all day yesterday, and I didn't know what I could do for her. She had her 9 month visit yesterday, and the doc took a look in her mouth and showed us the 4 teeth. Her gums are so red and swollen! How awful for her.

And her cough and stuffy nose don't help it any. Every time she coughs really hard, she cries out. It's too much pressure on her mouth. The doc said we could give her benadryl strips besides the triamimic strips we're giving her for the cold to help alleviate the congestion. She also said we can give her some tylenol for the tooth pain. Hopefully, she can get some relief.

I had heard her grinding her teeth night before last, so I knew there had to be a tooth up there for her to grind the bottom ones on. She just wouldn't let me look. I would never have guessed that there would be 4.

She's sitting happily in her swing right now watching Sesame Street, so I think the tylenol kicked in. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

As for the 9 month checkup, she weighed in at 19lbs, 13oz (70%ile), measured up at 28.25in (75%ile), and her head measured 47cm (100%ile). I asked if I should be worried about her head circumference, and they assured me that she was fine. I hear that 100%ile thing, and I start to freak a bit.

She got her first shot in the arm (ugh), and she had to get a finger prick (double ugh!). The finger prick was horrible, naturally. Instead of being a gusher like her dad, she trickles like her mommy. Of all the dumb luck.

The doc keeps telling us she's very advanced, but I just don't see it. All my nieces were just like Ellie, talking, crawling, standing, cruising, etc. She asked if we thought Ellie understood more than just her name, and well, yes, she does. She seems to understand many of the things we say to her, but I thought most 9 months old do. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I just don't want to put a label on her at such a young age. I still think it's too early to speculate on her intelligence.

In all honesty, I don't want her dad to get his hopes up. He's always saying he hopes Ellie is smart like mommy because he's afraid she may have inherited his learning disability. I think it's his one big fear in life. And every time the doc or someone else say how smart Ellie is, I see that his fears are alleviated, which should be great. I know it should. I'm just cautious about the whole thing. Only time will tell.

9 Months!

Ellie's 9 months old today. Yay! These 9 months have gone by a lot faster than the 9 she was in my tummy. My pregnancy felt like it was 2 years long.

She's such a big girl now. Yesterday, she started cruising, holding onto the sofa for balance. And Harry said she was jabbering away, speaking in "sentences" before I got home from work. She's a little chatterbox, just like her mommy:).

We weighed her the other day, and she's 20lbs. She really IS a big girl! And she's about 30 inches tall. She's already half my height. LOL.

I am truly blessed.

We need to be unitedly illuminated

So, yesterday, the power went out around 8:10am at work. The back-up generators kicked on automatically for our computers, except not all the computers stayed on. WTF? That's not supposed to happen. The computers are NEVER supposed to go off in a power outage. Hmmm.

The lights kick back on (along with the dead computers) a few minutes later. For about 30 seconds. Then they go off again. Strange.

I was one of the lucky (ha!) few that still had a computer running. Then we found out part of our program wasn't working, so even us lucky (ha!) few couldn't work. So, naturally, I surfed the web.

30 minutes later, and at least the program was back up and running, so us lucky (ha!) few were up and running as well. We worked and worked and worked until the back-up generator was actually TURNED OFF by the power company. No lights, no puters, no scary glow coming out of the cubicles from the monitors. Nada.

Did I mention no air-conditioning since 8:10 as well? And we're on the 4th floor. And our windows don't open.

So we all stood around in the dark, sweating profusely, chatting, and praying the power company could fix the building's boo-boo.

At 1:45pm, everything came back on. And there was much rejoicing.

Today, it's like an icebox in here. No wonder why the power goes out so often.

Oh, and last time (since this was like the 4th time so far this year), some poor woman was stuck in the elevator for an hour. Awful.

Table foods

Yay! Ellie had her first helping of table food! Nothin' special, just cubes of whole wheat oatmeal bread. She started the gagging like with the puffs at first, but quickly realized she had to chew it first. She learns so quickly.

I'm so excited for her. There are so many new things for her to try now... scrambled eggs, cheese, cheerios, baby biscuits, etc. We went to the store right after and stocked up on all the new goodies.

What finally made me push on in this new territory was something my sister told me yesterday while she was visiting. Her sister (we're half sisters) can't get her 9-year-old son to eat anything but yogurt. Seriously. That's all he eats all day. She buys vats of the stuff for him. All because he had a bad gag reflex as a baby, so she never pushed solid food. Fast forward 9 years, and it's now become a psychological thing with him, He refuses to eat anything but the yogurt. He'll drink anything, but he won't even touch pudding, soup, jello, none of it. That scared the crap out of me.

So I made a promise to start table foods with Ellie the very next day. And I'm so glad I did. She was so happy to be able to feed herself. I even had dry toast to eat bread when she ate bread. She loved it! She felt like such a big girl. She even clapped for herself. LOL. She does that a lot. She's her own cheering section.

What to try next? I think we'll try the cheerios, since that's oat, too. Next weekend, we'll do the scrambled eggs. And maybe she can try the cheese for a snack sometime during the week. I want to check for allergies, so only one thing at a time.

You'd think it was ME trying something new, I'm so excited. Like discovering chocolate for the first time or something.

Wake up call...

I woke up to the word "mama" this morning. Better than coffee!

Firsts

Lots of firsts this weekend!

Ellie stood up for the first time on Saturday! We were playing on the floor at my sister's house, and she started climbing onto my lap. Then she decided she'd stand up instead, holding onto me for balance. I couldn't believe how quickly she did it, like she'd been doing it for ages. And she had a full audience for it, too. She's such a ham.

She also started playing while sitting on her knees, which is so cute. Her balance has gotten really good.

She also figured out how to get into a sitting position from a crawling position and from on her tummy.

Lastly, she used the push-behind walker on Sunday and took a few steps. Lord, help us. LOL. She loves all this new freedom.

One for the books...

Ellie cut her first tooth!

Just like everybody else

There's a reason why most people don't remain friends with their exes once they've split up. I've been the exception to that rule.

That's changed today.

I'm cutting off ties. I've paid my dues.

I haven't mentioned it to many people, but I've decided to have my first marriage annulled. It's a long process, and it brings up a lot of memories I have long since buried. But it's time to do it. I've waited so long to have it done because I didn't want to visit old ghosts. I've waited too long.

So I filled out paperwork the beginning of this year. I wrote out a complete history, starting with our childhoods and ending with the divorce itself. They need all that info to make a decision. I hated every minute of it. I got through it. My mom, Kim, Susana, Kevin, and Jessica were all kind enough to write out formal testimony as witnesses to the marriage and its inevitable end. They did it quickly, efficiently, and out of the goodness of their hearts, and I can't thank them enough. Nobody wanted to go back there, but they did simply because I asked them to.

In May, I went in and gave my formal verbal testimony. Rather unpleasant. The Msgr. assigned to my case mentioned that they had sent Chris a questionnaire as well, but he hadn't returned it. No big surprise.

A month later, I received a letter from the Diocese stating that they were holding my case up waiting for Chris's testimony. Since it wasn't mandatory he testify, I had no idea it was being held up. I was none too happy. They asked me to contact Chris to see if he would be willing to fill out the questionnaire and return it to them as soon as possible. I asked him, telling him that the case was on hold until he answered and that it was important I know immediately. He apologized and said he'd fill it out and send it in that very night.

2 weeks go by. I was planning on calling the Diocese today to see what the status of my case is. So yesterday, I shoot Chris a quick email to find out exactly when he sent the questionnaire in. My email gets ignored, which is unusual. I write another today in case he was maybe out of work yesterday. I finally get a reply, and it's "Oh, I've been busy. I never filled it out. It hasn't been sent."

My response... "Don't even bother. Forget it."

I called the Diocese and told them he was not cooperating and they would not receive his testimony. They'll be moving along without it.

What bothers me the most is that he knew how important this was and that he actually said, "I swear I'm not trying to mess this up on purpose" or something to that effect. That makes me question his motives even more.

So this is me saying goodbye. I'm done.

On break now at work and thought I'd finally write something for poor Lea to read! She said she checks in here everyday, and, alas, I haven't given her one single word in weeks now. I feel I have to rectify that situation.

Speaking of the Lovely Lea, we had coffee last weekend and played catch up since the birth of Little Ellie. We drank our caffeine, stared at Ellie for an hour or two, and talked about friends, family, and all other things life-involving. She's doing well, another one of her friends is getting married, and she's been helping her dad on the road to recovery. One of her sisters is trying to have a baby while the other is buying a home. Lea's gone to a few open houses herself, but no house yet. I know how that feels. It may be a couple more years for the both of us.

We talked about our vacation plans for the year and about work, about our husbands and her new allergy to sulfites (she'll be damned if she'll let that get in the way of having a glass of wine now and again!). We talked and talked and talked. I love our time together.

My oldest niece also graduated from high school last weekend. Good Lord! She's all growed up now. Getting her license this summer and going off to college. Where did the time go? Here's some pics of the happy graduate...






It's hard to believe my sister's oldest is graduating and my little one is just starting out.

Memorial Day weekend… always jam-packed with things to do.

Saturday, we did our normal running around to stores and cleaning up the house. And playing with the baby, of course. We always make time for that.

Sunday was a day of picnics. We went to Kevin’s Annual Memorial Day picnic and got to show Ellie off to some old friends. Things are very different now. The last time all of us were together was about 2 or 3 years ago. Kevin, Kim, and I all have children now. Both Chris and Tom have new girlfriends. We’re all all-grown-up. We all have full-time jobs and pay bills and gripe about the price of gas, tax hikes, and insurance premiums. It’s nice to get together, even if it is only once a year.

We went to my dad’s after Kevin’s, but didn’t stay long. Dad was already 16 sheets to the wind and kept asking to hold the baby. Macisco Sr. nearly backed his truck into us as we were chatting with some people. We got out of there in a hurry.

On Monday, we went to visit my cousin Flo. She’s been having some health problems as of late, so she’s in a nursing home temporarily. We thought a visit from the baby would cheer her up (Ellie can put a smile on anyone’s face), and we were right. She was so excited to see our little one. My cousin, Michael, and his wife, Lori, were there, too. They got to see the baby for the first time, and Ellie loved all the attention. They showed up at my dad’s the night before a couple of hours after we left and said my dad was completely obliterated. Typical.

We went to pay a visit to Harry’s mom after seeing Flo, and, of course, she was happy to see Miss Ellie, too. We sat outside for a bit, enjoying the beautiful weather.

We spent the rest of Monday at home, playing with the baby. That was the best part of the weekend.

Harry just called...

to tell me that Ellie said "Ma Ma" for the first time. I missed it! Hopefully she'll say it again tonight when I get home.

That's right... I'm back.

Ahhhh. This feels good. I missed you, Blogger. May we never part again.

So to start, an inverview.

Jen: Why did you stop blogging?

Me: Mostly it was lack of time TO blog. I didn't have internet access at work, and I was just too tired once I got home. And to be honest, I was kind of tired of all the comments from Blogger friends. I know that sounds weird, but there were too many "strangers" involved in my daily going-ons. Every entry I wrote, someone had to say something. Sometimes I was just writing to write. I didn't need everyone's two bits. In the beginning, the blog was supposed to be for me and for friends I didn't get to see often, to keep them up on my life. All of a sudden, it became this huge thing. It wasn't for me. Ok, did I sound like a lunatic there?

Jen: Has blogging ever gotten you in trouble with someone?

Me: Not really trouble, but because of my audience, I sometimes had to censor myself. I didn't like that. I've gotten a couple of snide remarks because of something I've written, but I think I ended up more pissy than the person who made the remarks. The way I see it... if you don't like what you're reading, don't read it.

Jen: When you did blog, were there any subjects or topics you refused to write about?

Me: Hmmm. I don't think so. I think I wrote about most everything. I may have skipped an event or two when writing about the past, but that was usually because it was something I didn't really want to think about.

Jen: Who would you rather invite into your family? Angelina or Brad?

Me: Do I have to choose? Really? I guess Brad. I think he'd be fun to hang around with.

Jen: How expensive ARE diapers? Really?

Me: Ha! We buy LUVS. They're $10.99 for a 60 pack and $15.99 for a box of 92. This is for the size 3 diapers. When the sizes go up, you actually get less in a pack. Ellie goes through about 50 diapers a week now. It's not too bad. If you put together all the money we spend on her for the month, that's another story. Harry and I just realized that Ellie is a monthly mortgage payment!


That was fun.

So here are the rules in case someone actually reads and wants to do one of these:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, so make sure I have your email address. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So... 30.

It's not so bad. My life insurance costs more now, and supposedly, my car insurance will go down. It's all about balance.

Freakin' Creeping me out!

My mom got a call last night at her house for me. I haven't used that number as my own in over 10 years. They asked for Alicia, and when my mom asked who was calling, they simply asked for me again. When my mom told them I no longer lived there, they hung up as she was trying to ask them if they'd like to leave a message.

And damn it all for my mom living in the Stone Age and not having caller ID.

We both guessed that it could be someone from high school, but who the hell would want to contact me from Bunnell? I pretty much already have some form of contact with the people I was friends with in high school.

Telemarketer seems unlikely because I didn't really have any credit cards or anything while living there.

The only other guess is that they looked up my maiden name (possibly not knowing I've married), and got my mom's phone number that way.

So who the hell is this mystery person, and what do they want with me? I like my life just as it is and don't need some psycho stalker screwing it up.

And if it's Mark Wilmott, I'm holding Tom and Kevin personally responsible for not taking care of that situation eons ago.

I had no idea

Did anybody else know that Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was Stacy Ferguson from K.I.D.S. Incorporated? She was the little blonde brat. I loved that show.

Kim had the baby!

Kim had the baby!
Little Niko Vincente was born Easter Sunday a little after 3am. Kim's water broke at 11:47 pm and Ellie's new little gay friend arrived into this world about 3 and a 1/2 hours later (Kim has promised Harry Niko will be gay so we can trust him with our daughter). He weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz and measures 20 inches long. And his head circumference is 14 cm. I always wondered why they measure length in inches and head circumference in centimeters. That's screwy American logic for ya! Anyway, Kim says he's got a serious head of hair (just like Ellie!) and Delio's nose. I can't go and see him yet because I STILL have a runny nose (it's been over 2 weeks now) and don't want to get Mommy or Baby sick. If I still have it by the middle of the week, it probably means I've developed allergies at the age of 30 (NOOOOO!), and I'll be able to visit. I can't wait!

We did it!

We paid off the Honda! We don't owe anybody anything! And we paid it off a year early!
Did I mention that I had it all planned out to be paid off next month, but we mysteriously received an extra $1000 from the IRS to help us pay it off now? Well, the mystery was solved yesterday. Seems when I filed I neglected to check off boxes to claim myself and Harry. Yeah, I only claimed the baby. The IRS was nice enough to find the error, correct it, and actually give us the money. And people say "The Man" is out to get you. Pshaw! I would like to send the IRS person who looked over my taxes a big thank you.
And yes, I've already kicked myself in the ass for making such a huge mistake. I've kick several times.
Next year, we're going to H&R Block. I've learned my lesson.
Next on the "to do" list, buy a new house. Yeah, that one's gonna take a while, but we'll get there. I won't live in the Bat Cave forever.

Tattoine!

Yes, I've finally started on my next tattoo. Freakin' 6 hours in the chair for the outline alone. I'll probably have to have 4 sittings to color it in. I'll be back under the gun in a couple of weeks to finish the faerie portion. Then 3 sittings within the next few months for the dragon.When it's done, it will look a little something like this:

Of course, I've tweaked it a bit to make it my own. Instead of the ledge, I have the faerie perched on the dragon's tail instead. And I'm having the faerie done all in pinks (for Elizabeth - Pink is her signature color). And I also had Elizabeth's name and birthdate put in there inside one of the curves of the dragon's tail.
It's a fairly large piece, probably measuring 10 inches by 12 inches or so. It takes up the entire middle of my back from the 3 faeries down to the lei of flowers. Eventually, I'll put in flowers and leaves and such as fillers, and it will be an entire backpiece. I have no idea when it will be finished, but I'm in no rush.
The only downside... it itches like mad while it's healing.

I have been to hell.

Otherwise known as Yale New Haven's Children's Hospital.
Elizabeth's stuffy nose and cough got worse. Did I mention the stuffy nose and cough mere days after the pink eye? Again, welcome to daycare.
So we bring her back to the doctor's office on Saturday. They take a listen to her lungs. All clear. Check her ears, her eyes, her throat. All clear. We breathe a sigh of relief.
6:30pm last night. Taking Elizabeth's temp once again. Shit. 100.8. Time to call the answering service. Dr. Sadinsky calls us back right away and tells us to take Ellie to Yale Children's Emergency Center for tests. We pack up and go.
They take her temp. 101.5. Shit, shit, shit. This is not happening. They give her some Tylenol to help it go down. And we wait. A nurse looks at her. A student doctor comes in and takes a look at her (Harry says the guy looks like he does when he's inspecting a car... "ok, it's making a noise there; I should check that" etc.). He tells us they need to take a urine sample, a blood sample, a nose swab, and a chest X-ray. Another doctor and one of the attendings come and take a peek at her. They tell us they'll start with the nose swab, urine sample and chest X-ray; no need to poke her if they can find the problem without it.
Unfortunately, they have to put a catheter in to take the urine. They use ultrasound to see if there's urine in the bladder before they put it in so it won't need to stay in, but then they wait too long to actually put the catheter in. She's peed in her diaper, so she has to keep the catheter in for a while. They do the nose swab, no problem. X-ray, a little scary on one so young, but it's a a necessary evil.
Student doc comes back and scares the hell out of us by telling us she has pnuemonia. Holy fuck. This isn't happening. How did this happen?
He says they need to take blood to find out if it is viral or bacterial. And they need to start an IV to give her antibiotics. You've got to be fucking kidding me.
They warn us they don't always get the needle in on the first try with babies. 8 sticks later and they at least have the blood. Her veins blow soon after they get the needle in. 8 fucking times. 4 different nurses. Another nurse comes in and points out that there is a vein they can use on her forehead. NO FUCKING WAY. I burst into tears and ask if there isn't some other way to give her the antibiotics.
They ask a doc and are given the OK to give her a shot of a 24 hour antibiotic. Yes, another needle. At least this one only takes 20 seconds and it's over.
We're brought up to her room at 1:30 am. She falls fast asleep. It's way passed her bedtime. I can't sleep. I keep glancing over at her to make sure she's OK.
We "get up" a little before 7 am. We feed her, and bless her, she still has a hearty appetite. Her pediatrician comes in around 8:30 to tell us it may NOT be pnuemonia. Most likely, she just has a cold. They're going to take one more chest X-ray. I think he's a little pissed with the ER docs. I think he thinks they may have unnecessarily scared us and given her medication she didn't need, not to mention all the needle torture. He calms me down almost immediately and tells us they don't need to keep us the 24 hours they said was absolutely necessary. In fact, we can probably leave after her next X-ray is looked at.
They come and get us for the X-ray at 9:18am. We don't get discharged until 1:30pm. We've been waiting for someone to take a damn look at the freakin' X-ray. The nurses keep calling down, but no one will give anyone a straight answer. Harry and I are frazzled, needless to say.
The nurse gives me discharge orders. And the orders are... go back to your normal routine. No extra meds, no extra precautions. Nothing.
What?
What about the X-ray? All clear.
All clear?
All clear.
What about the X-ray last night?
Well, that was read by someone who normally reads adult X-rays.
So she's OK? Nothing but a cold.
Yes, she's good to go home.
And all I can think is... "This is hell. Leaving my child's life in someone else's hands. This is what hell is like."
I prayed to God last night. My mother did, too. Us being home tonight instead of in that hospital should lead everyone to believe He exists.
My little girl's OK.
We're taking her out of daycare tomorrow and finding a licensed caregiver who works out of her home, like my friend, Kevin, suggested. That's what he does with his son. Our pediatrician gave us the name of a woman that works for his practice part-time that cares for children at her home. I talked to her this morning. I'm meeting with her tomorrow afternoon. I've already gotten a good vibe from her on the phone, so I'm keeping my fingers' crossed. Please do the same for me.

Naturally...

We get through our first week of daycare, and the baby comes home with pink eye. Poor thing. We have to give her eye drops 3-4 times a day. Luckily, her eyes don't seem to bother her. She'll be staying home tomorrow with Harry, and then she's back to daycare on Tuesday. Gotta get back on the horse, I guess. Everyone says daycare builds your child's immune system; they weren't kidding. I wonder how many other kids get sick their first week there. Just our family's dumb luck!

Daycare

Ellie started daycare yesterday. Can you say "Mommy is an emotional basket case?"
That was me yesterday. I cried when I had to leave her. I cried at work. I cried when I had to leave her again after visiting on my lunch break. I cried when Harry called me after he had picked her up for the day. I cried when I got home and vowed she would never return there again. I would quit my job and take care of her myself. We would be dirt poor, but at least I would be with her.
Then a couple hours later, some semblance of rational thought entered my brain, and I realized I really hadn't given it a fair chance. So before I did anything rash, I said I'd give it one more chance.
So today things were much better. I was much better. Ellie was much better. There were no tears on my part today, and hardly any on hers, as well. We both felt better about this whole daycare thing. So much so that we're ready to try it yet again tomorrow.
8:07 PM - 1 Comments